Sarah Silverman Quotes
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can't serve their country openly or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids too. So don't be f**king shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they're different; they learned it from watching you.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
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I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish.
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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I'm not wanting and I don't live in a hovel, but if you keep your costs low, you can do what you want to do creatively.
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I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.
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I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.
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Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.
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She, uh, came out of the closet recently, my niece. Um... She announced to the family that she's a lesbian and... She's seven, did I mention that? And, uh, I don't even know if she knows what a lesbian is, but I support her completely. And, uh... I'll tell you what's heartbreaking. My sister punished her for it. Can you believe that? No pussy for a week. Which to us may not sound like... But when you're seven, you know, a week is a long time.
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I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends.
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I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.
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I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
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Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.
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I'm all sentimental. I've probably been ruined by romantic movies, but I really do believe in love. I've experienced it, I've had it, so I know it's real.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
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When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.