Sarah Silverman Quotes
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I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
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Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.
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When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.
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I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
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I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.
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Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.
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I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.
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I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.
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Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.
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When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.