Sarah Silverman Quotes
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I can see myself adopting. I'm not in a rush to do it. I'm 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I'm very good - I've got a lot of really good moves.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I'm very lucky in that I still experience highs and lows. And I think those lows are important. But I am not totally paralyzed, and it keeps me from just complete state of paralysis - and emotionally and really kind of almost physically.
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And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.
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I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
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The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.
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I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.
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When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit the animal's throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since.
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I’ve always had dreams. When I was little, I’d go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies.
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If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
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I'm lucky a couple of filmmakers have seen beyond what you're saying.
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You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.
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You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
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If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.
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When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.
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Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.