Sarah Silverman Quotes
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Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
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When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.
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I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.
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Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours doesn't invalidate it.
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Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.
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Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.
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I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.
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Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
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You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
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When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit the animal's throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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I'm lucky a couple of filmmakers have seen beyond what you're saying.
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When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.