Sarah Silverman Quotes
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Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
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Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
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It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, "I like your dress," and they'll go "(bleep) you!" Or I say something serious and they go, "Oh, yeah, ha-ha." They're strangers. They're people who know me from comedy, but luckily I am on pretty much all the time!
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When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.
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I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.
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I can see myself adopting. I'm not in a rush to do it. I'm 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I'm very good - I've got a lot of really good moves.
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My stepfather, John O'Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He was the one parent who didn't try to fix me. One night I sat on his lap in his chair by the wood stove, sobbing. He just held me quietly and then asked only, "What does it feel like?" It was the first time I was prompted to articulate it. I thought about it, then said, "I feel homesick." That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.
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I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
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Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit the animal's throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since.
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The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.
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I’ve always had dreams. When I was little, I’d go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies.
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Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
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I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.
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I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.
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The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.