Sarah Silverman Quotes
-
I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
-
My dad was a bedwetter; I think his dad was a bedwetter. I like to talk about it because it's something that I thought would be my deepest, darkest secret my whole life, and then you become an adult, and it's not.
-
I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.
-
I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.
-
I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.
-
I remember my first standup act when I was seventeen; I did a really lame song about being flat chested. I was doing it in New York, and I remember Kevin Brennan, the guy I lost my virginity to, was like "That song doesn't make sense, you have tits."
-
This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.
-
It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.
-
I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.
-
Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. But there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
-
Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
-
I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
-
I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.
-
Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.
-
What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things, and taking influences from every cog, including myself, that can help. Any place where there can be inspiration. They make every moment very layered and very rich.
-
I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.
-
I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.
-
I don't really like saying "the gays"... I'm not sure why. I suppose I say "the Jews." but I don't say "the blacks." I guess because I'm a Jew for all intents and purposes and to group people together of which I am not one in such a casual way feels disrespectful.
-
I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
-
I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.
-
When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by.
-
If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
-
I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
-
Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.