Sarah Silverman Quotes
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My dad was a bedwetter; I think his dad was a bedwetter. I like to talk about it because it's something that I thought would be my deepest, darkest secret my whole life, and then you become an adult, and it's not.
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This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.
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What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things, and taking influences from every cog, including myself, that can help. Any place where there can be inspiration. They make every moment very layered and very rich.
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I remember my first standup act when I was seventeen; I did a really lame song about being flat chested. I was doing it in New York, and I remember Kevin Brennan, the guy I lost my virginity to, was like "That song doesn't make sense, you have tits."
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Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
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I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
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I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.
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I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.
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I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
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Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. But there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
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I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.
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I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.
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I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.
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I don't really like saying "the gays"... I'm not sure why. I suppose I say "the Jews." but I don't say "the blacks." I guess because I'm a Jew for all intents and purposes and to group people together of which I am not one in such a casual way feels disrespectful.
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I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.
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I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.
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And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.
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I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.
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I know how to write. So I am not totally at the mercy of filmmakers, but it's not a bad point.
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I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.
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If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.
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Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
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In the big picture, life has a gap in it. It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it.
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I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.