Sarah Silverman Quotes
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Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated
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I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.
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You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.
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I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
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I like my life alone.
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I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
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I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can't serve their country openly or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids too. So don't be f**king shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they're different; they learned it from watching you.
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A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
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When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit the animal's throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since.
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Take lots of time for yourself, discovering yourself-pursue not only a profession but other life passions, I always make time to rock climb or hike or write a few short stories. Also, find good people and surround yourself with them. Most importantly, always believe you will, unequivocally.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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I'm lucky a couple of filmmakers have seen beyond what you're saying.
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Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.
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Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.
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I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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It's just hard to say, "Well, I do this, which means this." If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.
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I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.