Sarah Silverman Quotes
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Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
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If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
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People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.
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I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.
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When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.
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I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.
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Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.
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I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.
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You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated
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When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.
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It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.
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If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
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I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.
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I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.