Sarah Silverman Quotes
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Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.
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Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can't serve their country openly or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids too. So don't be f**king shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they're different; they learned it from watching you.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.
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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
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A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
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People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.
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I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.
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If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
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Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.
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I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.
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I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.
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I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.
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Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.
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You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.