Sarah Silverman Quotes
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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I like my life alone.
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I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.
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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
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I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
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Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.
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Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.
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The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.
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It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.
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I think that whenever a Jew has any kind of notoriety, good or bad, the Jews find it to be good.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.
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Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can't serve their country openly or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids too. So don't be f**king shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they're different; they learned it from watching you.
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You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I'm lucky a couple of filmmakers have seen beyond what you're saying.
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I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
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Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.
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If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.
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I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish.