Mae West Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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I'd imagine my wedding as a fairy tale... huge, beautiful and white.
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When you're a woman, you have to work harder to get a laugh... I follow so many hilarious women on Twitter. It's a daily reminder that women get to be funny.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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I did accents and funny voices for the family when I was growing up.
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My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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I like children - fried.
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I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?
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I was in the trade field as White House fellow in the first Bush administration.
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Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans.
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
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Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you, some opposing force, something uncomfortable.
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I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
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The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.
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I've always thought those guys are really funny. And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary.
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Preaching is effective as long as the preacher expects something to happen-not because of the sermon, not even because of the preacher, but because of God.
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Money powers prey upon the nation in times of peace & conspire against it in times of adversity.
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Anytime I was in Memphis with my dad and at the house, I was happy. That was, like, a given. It was what I lived for. And I still feel the same excitement and warmth.
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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
