Norm MacDonald Quotes
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A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's one point, that all of a sudden I'm bored. You know? I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.
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In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them; and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.