Norm MacDonald Quotes
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None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?
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A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them; and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.