Norm MacDonald Quotes
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RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Louis C.K. is great. But I don't know how many you could do.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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I just got back from New York. You ever been there? There was a big gay parade going on there when I was there, and I never been to one of them, and I like a parade. I always like a parade. So, I go there, and it turns out, it's just a bunch of gay guys.
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
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Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
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I don't know anything about politics. I wouldn't put too much into my prediction on politics.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
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In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.