Norm MacDonald Quotes
-
I guess Richard Pryor was that good. I never saw him in a theater, but I imagine he was that good, because he was such a phenomenal actor.
-
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
-
On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
-
Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
-
Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
-
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
-
Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
-
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
-
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
-
There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.
-
RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.
-
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
-
I went to a hypnotist. He put me under a spell, and every time I had a craving for a cigarette, I would throw up. It's very embarrassing right after sex. I find it pretty hard to get that second date after that. Girls get all snobby after you barf on them.
-
I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
-
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
-
The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.
-
When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
-
Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
-
You're used to a TV show, and TV is just made for TV shows. It's not made for live events.So anyways, I was resistant to it, but I did it anyway.
-
Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
-
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some; others of a moderate share that they have a great deal; but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
-
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
-
If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there Hollywood weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.
-
If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault.