Andy Borowitz Quotes
Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Quotes to Explore
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Dad said that he was prouder of me than he'd ever been when I came out.
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Shimeji are those odd-looking clusters of small mushrooms you often find in so-called 'exotic' selections at the supermarket. They have an appealing firmness that is retained during light cooking.
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Seed investing is the status symbol of Silicon Valley. Most people don't want Ferraris, they want a winning seed investment.
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When we shoot 'Scrubs' I spend every waking hour of my life in an abandoned and haunted hospital. All I can date there are ghosts and they tend to be horrible snugglers.
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I think personal beliefs of everybody shape everybody.
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It's really rare to come across a character, a show, or a movie that allows you to completely play four or five different characters within a season, let alone a week.
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The thing about the Internet is that you can write something... for a very narrow audience and make a living at it.
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I've tried coconut water straight up before, and to me, it's a little funky.
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I am a huge wrestling fan. I would say The Rock is my favorite person to watch for obvious reasons.
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The West hasn't reached its universal state as yet, although its close to it, but it certainly has evolved out of its warring state phase, which it was in for a couple of centuries.
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I always think I have a chance, and I always give it all I've got.
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Many years ago... many, many years ago, I brought up a boy, and I said to him, 'Son, if you ever become a writer, try to write a good part for your old man sometime.' Well, by cracky, that's what he did!
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You have to be quite stupid to act.
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I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable.
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As a woman, and as a working mom trying to get things done, you find yourself meeting adversity a lot, but you never talk about it because you don't want to bring attention to it. You don't want to go there.
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I would not waste time, as Senator Gillibrand does, on things such as dictating a national minimum driving age and sponsoring a 'National Day of Play.' I'd help New Yorkers understand that we get less in value from Washington than what we send there in taxes.
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I like to travel by myself.
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Christmas can have a real melancholy aspect, 'cause it packages itself as this idea of perfect family cohesion and love, and you're always going to come up short when you measure your personal life against the idealized personal lives that are constantly thrust in our faces, primarily by TV commercials.
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We can just keep doing it the way we’re doing it. We can attack everybody for small-minded things and crush everybody with a new idea. And where are we going to be? Where we are now – behind. Or we can embrace new things and try to be positive and let everybody play a role.
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We had the idea as women that we could walk into music and be good at it and be as good as any man and have a career in it without being taken advantage of. So basically, those things came true. The obstacle course was just more difficult than we ever anticipated. We were optimistic and very naive.
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I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory.
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I can think about what [Mahatma] Gandhi said or [Martin Luther] King said about violence begetting violence, and still be true to my job by asking myself the question whenever we're confronted with a situation where some may be arguing for military action: Will this actually result in America being safer, or the most lives being saved?
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
