Andy Borowitz Quotes
Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Quotes to Explore
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Dad said that he was prouder of me than he'd ever been when I came out.
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Shimeji are those odd-looking clusters of small mushrooms you often find in so-called 'exotic' selections at the supermarket. They have an appealing firmness that is retained during light cooking.
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Seed investing is the status symbol of Silicon Valley. Most people don't want Ferraris, they want a winning seed investment.
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When we shoot 'Scrubs' I spend every waking hour of my life in an abandoned and haunted hospital. All I can date there are ghosts and they tend to be horrible snugglers.
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I think personal beliefs of everybody shape everybody.
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It's really rare to come across a character, a show, or a movie that allows you to completely play four or five different characters within a season, let alone a week.
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The thing about the Internet is that you can write something... for a very narrow audience and make a living at it.
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I've tried coconut water straight up before, and to me, it's a little funky.
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I am a huge wrestling fan. I would say The Rock is my favorite person to watch for obvious reasons.
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The West hasn't reached its universal state as yet, although its close to it, but it certainly has evolved out of its warring state phase, which it was in for a couple of centuries.
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I always think I have a chance, and I always give it all I've got.
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Many years ago... many, many years ago, I brought up a boy, and I said to him, 'Son, if you ever become a writer, try to write a good part for your old man sometime.' Well, by cracky, that's what he did!
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You have to be quite stupid to act.
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I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable.
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As a woman, and as a working mom trying to get things done, you find yourself meeting adversity a lot, but you never talk about it because you don't want to bring attention to it. You don't want to go there.
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I would not waste time, as Senator Gillibrand does, on things such as dictating a national minimum driving age and sponsoring a 'National Day of Play.' I'd help New Yorkers understand that we get less in value from Washington than what we send there in taxes.
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I like to travel by myself.
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Censorship may be useful for the preservation of morality, but can never be so for its restoration.
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I don't sit and write stand-up material; I come up with an idea onstage.
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“Paganism sacralizes and thereby exalts this world whereas Judeo-Christian monotheism sanctifies and thereby retreats from this world. Paganism is based on the idea of the sacred.”
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You grow up a bit damaged or broken then you have some success but you don't know how to feel good about the work you're doing or the life you're leading.
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
