Andy Borowitz Quotes
Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Andy Borowitz
Quotes to Explore
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The thing about the Internet is that you can write something... for a very narrow audience and make a living at it.
Randall Munroe
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I've tried coconut water straight up before, and to me, it's a little funky.
Yvonne Strahovski
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I am a huge wrestling fan. I would say The Rock is my favorite person to watch for obvious reasons.
Paige VanZant
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The West hasn't reached its universal state as yet, although its close to it, but it certainly has evolved out of its warring state phase, which it was in for a couple of centuries.
Samuel P. Huntington
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I always think I have a chance, and I always give it all I've got.
Dan Webster
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Many years ago... many, many years ago, I brought up a boy, and I said to him, 'Son, if you ever become a writer, try to write a good part for your old man sometime.' Well, by cracky, that's what he did!
Walter Huston
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You have to be quite stupid to act.
Rachel Weisz
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I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable.
Lake Bell
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As a woman, and as a working mom trying to get things done, you find yourself meeting adversity a lot, but you never talk about it because you don't want to bring attention to it. You don't want to go there.
Kate Hudson
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I would not waste time, as Senator Gillibrand does, on things such as dictating a national minimum driving age and sponsoring a 'National Day of Play.' I'd help New Yorkers understand that we get less in value from Washington than what we send there in taxes.
Wendy E. Long
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They talked about me as if I were Mother Teresa, and that every time I get a paycheck I go and send it to poor people and that we spend every free moment helping out people less fortunate. That was an enormous exaggeration.
Wendie Malick
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When I was 17, a neighbour I knew well died of cancer, and I became au pair to her three little girls. In circumstances like that, when you can't really help, I think it's a human response to do something beyond oneself. So I did a sponsored parachute jump for Cancer Research. It was exciting and ridiculous.
Tamsin Greig
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The 1990s, after the reign of terror of academic vandalism, will be a decade of restoration: restoration of meaning, value, beauty, pleasure, and emotion to art and restoration of art to its audience.
Camille Paglia
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I am very conservative. I don't invest in anything that is risky. If someone comes to me with a project idea, I let them risk their money, not mine.
Claudia Schiffer
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Birth is violent, whether it be the birth of a child or the birth of an idea.
Marianne Williamson
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Here at NBC there is just one more reason to hate the Yankees.
Chet Huntley
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Andy Borowitz
