Brian Regan Quotes

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"

Brian Regan

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• Funny
• Comedy
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• Cleaning
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Quotes to Explore

• We are seeing at the Republican National Committee a phenomenon that is worth noting this week; maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe Wednesday, we will have a million first time donors since the president took office.

  

  Ed Gillespie
  • Time
  • Today
  • Wednesday

• Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower and draws all good things towards you.

  

  Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
  • Good
  • Happiness
  • Flower

• The taps with the bat on the spikes are one for my grandmother, one for my grandfather, one for my little sister. Then the one on the helmet is showing faith in God that I can do it.

  

  Pablo Sandoval
  • God
  • Faith
  • Sister

• I don't want everything to be flowery perfection. I like it there to be a charge behind it, you know?

  

  Irvine Welsh
  • Want
  • Know
  • Perfection

• People like to hear me say, 'You love me, Chandler Bing. You just don't know you love me.'

  

  Maggie Wheeler
  • People
  • Know
  • Like

• Look back, and smile on perils past.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Past
  • Look
  • Smile

• The real political life in Russia unfortunately is not in the parliament but on the streets and in the media.

  Garry Kasparov
  • Life
  • Real
  • Political

• From compassion springs humility. The ego is verily a gateway to hell. The person who is egoistic is far from being religious.

  

  Dada Vaswani
  • Religious
  • Compassion
  • Ego

• Track and field is the best way to reach out for kids. It doesn't matter how fast you are. You always want to beat someone.

  

  Carl Lewis
  • Kids
  • Want
  • Best

• In a bigger picture, all over the world is a boys' club.

  

  Ilana Glazer
  • World
  • Picture
  • Club

• I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up happening.

  

  J. J. Abrams
  • Up
  • Alone
  • Ideas

• George W. Bush bought the election - period. End of story. There is no argument. You can try to come up with any argument you can, but there is none.

  

  Gary Coleman
  • Up
  • Period
  • End

• My entire life is dedicated to music, and at my age, that makes a lot of years! But all the work and dedication is only that I'm able to forget myself and let the music do the 'talking.'

  

  Mahavishnu John McLaughlin
  • Life
  • Work
  • Music

• You're going to change as you grow older, and that messes up a lot of relationships.

  

  Olivia Wilde
  • Up
  • Change
  • Grow

• This is the first time in 10 years I don't know what I'm doing next, and I'm rather enjoying it. Soon I'll be climbing the walls no doubt, but right now, it's not clear, I'm just enjoying the freedom.

  

  Sam Mendes
  • Time
  • Freedom
  • Doubt

• Trying to be smarter, work smarter, and just take care of my body more and more.

  

  Calvin Johnson
  • Work
  • Trying
  • Care

• Winning is very important to me. I wouldn't be happy with anything less. And I work towards my goal.

  

  Nafisa Joseph
  • Work
  • Important
  • Happy

• I don't think I'm exactly gregarious, you know. I'm not usually known as the loud person in the room.

  

  Laura Linney
  • Think
  • You
  • Know

• The poet does not fear death, not because he believes in the fantasy of heroes, but because death constantly visits his thoughts and is thus an image of a serene dialogue.

  

  Salvatore Quasimodo
  • Death
  • Fear
  • Thoughts

• I have a handicap in that English is not my first language. So even though I'm a writer, I don't write anymore because it's just harder in English.

  

  Patricia Riggen
  • English
  • Language
  • Write

• The challenges that the homeless face aren't dissimilar to those in developing countries.

  

  Leila Janah
  • Homeless

• When I first was exposed to 'Porgy and Bess' many, many years ago, I was blown away by it - loved the music, overwhelmed by the production at the Met that I saw, and thought I want to play Bess someday. But I also knew they were stereotypes that were considered racist.

  

  Audra McDonald
  • Music

• If I'm going to portray one of my idols and someone I feel... so strongly about, it has to be done right, and it has to be done 120 percent.

  

  Zendaya
  • Done
  • Feel
  • Idols

• I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"

  

  Brian Regan
  • Guy
  • Funny
  • Comedy