Brian Regan Quotes

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"

Brian Regan

• Guy
• Funny
• Comedy
• Kind
• Mean
• Cleaning
• Peanuts

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• We are seeing at the Republican National Committee a phenomenon that is worth noting this week; maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe Wednesday, we will have a million first time donors since the president took office.

  

  Ed Gillespie
  • Time
  • Today
  • Wednesday

• Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower and draws all good things towards you.

  

  Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
  • Good
  • Happiness
  • Flower

• The taps with the bat on the spikes are one for my grandmother, one for my grandfather, one for my little sister. Then the one on the helmet is showing faith in God that I can do it.

  

  Pablo Sandoval
  • God
  • Faith
  • Sister

• I don't want everything to be flowery perfection. I like it there to be a charge behind it, you know?

  

  Irvine Welsh
  • Want
  • Know
  • Perfection

• People like to hear me say, 'You love me, Chandler Bing. You just don't know you love me.'

  

  Maggie Wheeler
  • People
  • Know
  • Like

• Look back, and smile on perils past.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Past
  • Smile
  • Look

• The real political life in Russia unfortunately is not in the parliament but on the streets and in the media.

  Garry Kasparov
  • Life
  • Real
  • Political

• Often the starting point for characters, for me, is finding a little, most minor detail, and I'll go from there.

  

  Patrick deWitt
  • Characters
  • Point
  • Finding

• The great thing about life - I'd rather not know and just hope I'm happy and healthy and I feel as good about my life as I do now.

  

  Camilla Belle
  • Life
  • Good
  • Great

• From compassion springs humility. The ego is verily a gateway to hell. The person who is egoistic is far from being religious.

  

  Dada Vaswani
  • Religious
  • Compassion
  • Ego

• Track and field is the best way to reach out for kids. It doesn't matter how fast you are. You always want to beat someone.

  

  Carl Lewis
  • Kids
  • Want
  • Best

• In a bigger picture, all over the world is a boys' club.

  

  Ilana Glazer
  • World
  • Picture
  • Club

• I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up happening.

  

  J. J. Abrams
  • Up
  • Alone
  • Ideas

• George W. Bush bought the election - period. End of story. There is no argument. You can try to come up with any argument you can, but there is none.

  

  Gary Coleman
  • Up
  • Period
  • End

• My entire life is dedicated to music, and at my age, that makes a lot of years! But all the work and dedication is only that I'm able to forget myself and let the music do the 'talking.'

  

  Mahavishnu John McLaughlin
  • Life
  • Work
  • Music

• You're going to change as you grow older, and that messes up a lot of relationships.

  

  Olivia Wilde
  • Up
  • Change
  • Grow

• This is the first time in 10 years I don't know what I'm doing next, and I'm rather enjoying it. Soon I'll be climbing the walls no doubt, but right now, it's not clear, I'm just enjoying the freedom.

  

  Sam Mendes
  • Time
  • Freedom
  • Doubt

• Trying to be smarter, work smarter, and just take care of my body more and more.

  

  Calvin Johnson
  • Work
  • Trying
  • Care

• My interest in food really began with a month's cookery course in Frome, Somerset, after my A-levels. I left the course not an incredible cook, alas, but a real enthusiast. Food and cooking is at the core of entertaining, and my passion grew and grew.

  

  Pippa Middleton
  • Real
  • Food
  • Passion

• Papa didn't cuss, he didn't raise a whole lot of fuss. But when we did wrong, Papa beat the hell out of us.

  

  James Brown
  • Family
  • Hell
  • Beats

• I think as an investigative reporter I had tough standards, but I don't think of myself as a tough person.

  

  Jill Abramson

• I said, 'I'm going to the United States to study with Stella Adler and do movies because nobody here has done it and my passion is films.' But I came here and I didn't speak English, I didn't have a green card, I didn't know I had to have an agent, I couldn't drive, I was dyslexic.

  

  Salma Hayek
  • Done
  • Passion
  • Study

• I say the stupidest stuff, all the time, off of Twitter, and so I think Twitter is good way for people to get to know the stupid side of me.

  

  Kris Allen
  • People
  • Time
  • Good

• I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"

  

  Brian Regan
  • Guy
  • Funny
  • Comedy