P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

P. J. O'Rourke

• Funny
• Facts
• Realizing
• Tables

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Quotes to Explore

• I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Experience
  • Beautiful
  • Girl

• You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks.

  

  Wendi McLendon-Covey
  • Hope
  • Funny
  • Day

• I don't have the looks to compete at a bar, and I'm not that funny. So the last thing I want is to be in a situation where that's what I'm competing on. I'd rather be on OkCupid or Match, where I can write a 300-word essay about myself that's really good.

  

  Sam Yagan
  • Good
  • Funny
  • Myself

• It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.

  

  Octavia Spencer
  • True
  • Funny
  • Feel

• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • American
  • Funny
  • Nobody

• The jury has the right to determine both the law and the facts.

  

  Samuel Chase
  • Law
  • Facts
  • Jury

• Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.

  

  Anton Zaslavski
  • People
  • American
  • Funny

• A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.

  

  Sam Worthington
  • Time
  • Work
  • Funny

• My CIA colleagues were smart, dedicated, funny, and creative. Yes, there was sometimes stifling bureaucracy, boredom, colleagues who never should have been there, and later, deeply disturbing stories of the CIA's involvement in torture. Still, I got to do work I thought was incredibly important and, many times, had fun doing it.

  

  Valerie Plame
  • Work
  • Important
  • Fun

• This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.

  

  Faith Hill
  • Up
  • Family
  • May

• I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.'

  

  Tao Lin
  • People
  • Funny
  • Me

• I have an unfortunate personality.

  

  Orson Welles
  • Funny
  • Personality

• Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Funny
  • See
  • Others

• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Funny
  • Would
  • Wearing

• I like children - fried.

  

  W. C. Fields
  • Children
  • Funny
  • Like

• Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you, some opposing force, something uncomfortable.

  

  Faith Prince
  • Energy
  • Funny
  • Inside

• I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

  

  Eddie Izzard
  • Up
  • History
  • Funny

• I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously.

  

  Rachel Weisz
  • Character
  • Think
  • Funny

• I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made a funny black-and-white film called 'How to Dance Properly,' a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday, and by Monday, one million people a day were logging on to view it.

  

  Ze Frank
  • People
  • Friends
  • Song

• The close observer soon discovers that the teacher's task is not to implant facts but to place the subject to be learned in front of the learner and, through sympathy, emotion, imagination, and patience, to awaken in the learner the restless drive for answers and insights which enlarge the personal life and give it meaning.

  

  Nathan M. Pusey
  • Teacher
  • Facts
  • Task

• The eternal stars shine out again, so soon as it is dark enough.

  

  Thomas Carlyle
  • Stars
  • Shine
  • Eternal

• Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

  

  Scott Adams
  • Science
  • Wonder
  • Week

• If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Funny
  • Facts
  • Realizing