J. B. Smoove Quotes
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It's not even race; it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.'
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I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.
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It's great when a director like Cameron Crowe can take what you do and fit it into what he's doing. If someone's a fan of you already, they can take what you do and make it work for what they're doing. You don't know their vision, and you're thinking, 'How is this guy going to take what I do and make it work in this movie?'
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I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.
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I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
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I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.
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All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.
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Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
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I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your brand and what you do, it's kind of easy at that. You end up getting your audience.
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I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.
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There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them. Everybody doesn't know every kind of smart. There's money smart, there's movie smart, there's computer smart. There's just too many different kinds of smarts for people to know all the smarts.
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My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing.
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A lot of comedians are selfish.
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Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies.
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You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.
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Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing.
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I was the hallway clown in high school.
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I have to satisfy my audience.
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I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.
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I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
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I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start playing both characters. I can't hear them, but I can see their mouths moving, so I'll just put words in their mouths.
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Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In my brain, I consider myself the ultimate video game player. The ultimate snack maker.
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You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one. You can't get enough. You are addicted to Apple.
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Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on what they're going to say, and they're not listening. You have to listen in order to see where the other person is going to.