Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Quotes to Explore

• Government, in the last analysis, is organized opinion. Where there is little or no public opinion, there is likely to be bad government.

  

  Mackenzie King
  • Bad
  • Government
  • Opinion

• That's what happens nowadays with people working on computers. They can so easily fix things with their mouse and take out all the, 'Oh, somebody coughed in the background; we need to take that out' - or somebody hit a bad note. Those are all the best moments.

  

  Jack White The White Stripes
  • People
  • Bad
  • Best

• I came up in the theater, and I learned pretty quickly that reading a review, whether it's good or bad, can strangely affect the next performances, because you're reacting to something that's been said about you. So I tend to avoid that stuff pretty studiously.

  

  Dallas Roberts
  • Up
  • Good
  • Bad

• I felt bad to have to get divorced. I wasn't proud of that.

  

  Tasha Smith
  • Bad
  • Proud
  • Get

• I've been pretty lucky with neighbors. But back in 1998, I lived, like, literally next door to Wrigley Field in Chicago. And I had, like, 50,000 bad neighbors spread out over the course of one summer. I'm a diehard Cubs fan, but living right next to the ballpark, it's just - as you're trying to go to sleep, you can just, like, hear urination.

  

  Ike Barinholtz
  • Trying
  • Bad
  • Pretty

• I've been hit in the head a lot, but I don't think I have any problems, but I can't, for the life of me, remember a lot of my road stories and good times. When times are bad enough, that's all you can ever think about.

  

  T. J. Perkins
  • Life
  • Good
  • Remember

• At what point is someone precluded from availing themselves of the justification of self-defense because of their own poor judgment or bad behavior?

  

  Dan Gelber
  • Bad
  • Judgment
  • Behavior

• A competitor will find a way to win. Competitors take bad breaks and use them to drive themselves just that much harder. Quitters take bad breaks and use them as reasons to give up. It's all a matter of pride.

  

  Nancy Lopez
  • Up
  • Bad
  • Pride

• In antiquity the sage kings recognized that men's nature is bad and that their tendencies were not being corrected and their lawlessness controlled.

  

  Xun Kuang
  • Men
  • Bad
  • Nature

• Playing good girls in the 30s was difficult, when the fad was to play bad girls. Actually I think playing bad girls is a bore; I have always had more luck with good girl roles because they require more from an actress.

  

  Olivia De Havilland
  • Good
  • Bad
  • Girl

• You look at the NBA: there's all these young kids that are drafted on potential. They go to bad teams, they're in bad locker rooms, and now we got this analytics stuff that doesn't teach kids how to play. We've got these workout coaches that don't teach kids how to play basketball.

  

  Larry Brown
  • Kids
  • Bad
  • Basketball

• Most people don't have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.

  

  Carlos Santana Santana
  • People
  • Bad
  • Excuses

• I quit after a bad car accident. The thing about boxing is that you can be a star for five or six years, but when you go back to the old life, it's tough.

  

  Olivier Martinez
  • Life
  • Bad
  • Star

• It usually takes me 20 to 90 minutes to write a song because once I start, I don't stop. If I start writing a song, and you try to have a conversation with me, you're a bad person.

  

  Halsey
  • Writing
  • Bad
  • Song

• There's always cause for concern if bad policies are pursued.

  

  Jack Kemp
  • Bad
  • Always
  • Policies

• God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

  

  Garrison Keillor
  • God
  • Bad
  • Funny

• I think there's a lot of anxiety about being seen as a bad parent. There's still a lot of subjects that I think people aren't entirely comfortable being honest about.

  

  Adam Mansbach
  • People
  • Bad
  • Parent

• I was living in a small town in Indiana working as a telemarketer and a vacuum salesman. I was really bad: the vacuums seemed to always be falling apart. Every time I did a demonstration, I'd say, 'This is the material the astronauts used on Apollo 13.' And no sooner had that come out of my mouth, something would malfunction.

  

  Adam Driver
  • Time
  • Bad
  • Small

• I can be unkind to someone in the street or in the subway - I'm a bad-tempered person - but I'm unable to be unkind to a character. They exist because of me, and I have responsibility for them.

  

  Claire Denis
  • Character
  • Bad
  • Responsibility

• We're getting the sort of 'compromise' American politics specializes in: the one where things are intentionally made worse for most people in the hopes that if things are made bad enough, the other side will cave.

  

  Alex Pareene
  • People
  • American
  • Bad

• Mint's business model became, 'We'll go for free, and then we'll find these savings opportunities for you.' You know, better interest rate on your credit cards, when should you consolidate your student loans, when does it mathematically make sense to refinance your mortgage, and Mint figures all that stuff out for you.

  

  Aaron Patzer
  • Business
  • Free
  • Model

• I really liked insects - all kinds: flies, grasshoppers, weevils.

  

  Ben Silbermann

• I'm a backup quarterback at the University of Dayton. I was a one-year starter in high school. I think I got the job in high school because our quarterback left and went to another school.

  

  Jon Gruden
  • School
  • Job
  • High

• I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

  

  Anthony Jeselnik
  • Bad