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When I was a kid you always heard about the Israeli army and you always heard about this tiny little country and how everyone around them wants them gone, and every time somebody comes after them they take care of business. And so as a Jewish kid you were proud of that.
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Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.
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I think when I bought a house, that's when I thought I felt like that's a grown up thing to do.
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If it's something I feel I can do alright, I like being in those, and some that I think Rob Schneider and David Spade would be funnier at than me, I tell them to do it. I don't have any clue how we decide. There's this thing, this "Click", actually, one of my friends called me up, my partner told me about this idea that Steve Koren had. Steve Koren, by the way, the guy who wrote it with Mark O'Keefe, Steve Koren I've known since I was 22. He was a page at Saturday Night Live.
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I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.
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If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'
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I'm just looking to make good movies and looking to be as good as I can be in them and that's about it. But I feel much more comfortable doing a comedy, but the fact that I got to try a few dramas, I feel I've tested myself a little bit.
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With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing; I like what I've been doing. I believe in what I've done in the past; I hope my kid enjoys the movies I've made and enjoys some of the movies in the future.
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I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.
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I really do enjoy making movies and I try to test myself on occasion with some different stuff.
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The difference when you have kids comes up when someone wants to meet you out after 9:30 at night. You consider that giant sacrifice. You're like, "Do I do this? Do I stay out until 10:30 and be angry, all of tomorrow?
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My intention is never to hurt anybody. I'm happy when people are having a good time.
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I guess in my house when I was growing up, I was comfortable trying to be funny. And my dad, of course, it bugged him sometimes. He was trying to rest, and I was constantly trying to say something stupid to get a reaction. But I like doing these movies. You can do it in front of the camera and then it's over. I don't have to worry about being in front of too many people.
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When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I'm so happy I did a nice thing.
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I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.
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It's nice when little teams win.
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Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.
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I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
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Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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How do I speak Spanish? Not too well. Paz taught me a few words that, if people weren't nice to me, I could tell them a few things. I got to study with [chef] Thomas Keller, who we all love as a guy and Jim had a relationship with him at [his restaurant] the French Laundry.
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Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]
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I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.
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I enjoy doing all different types of movies even though I am the most comfortable with comedy.