-
SNL is a home. You've got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it's a great time.
-
The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep thinking about it. I wake up thinking about. I'm trying to do the right thing. With the amount of money I have, it's difficult to raise children the way I was raised. But I took away the west and north wing of the house for those guys. So, they're not allowed in there.
-
I'm filthy rich! It's good to be Adam Sandler!
-
The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said - you can do that.
-
Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I'd make one that I can't get yelled at for.
-
Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.
-
I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
-
Put on your yarmulkahHere comes HannukahSo much funnukahTo celebrate Hannukah
-
I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.
-
Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.
-
I've always wanted to do a family movie.
-
He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?
-
I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.
-
I'm sure everyone's got their back story. I don't come from a place of where I was tortured and needed to let something out. I came from a very happy home. I was a little out of control at times. But my family... we all liked to be funny, we all liked to make each other laugh.
-
I grew up cursing a lot.
-
One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.
-
When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.
-
Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!
-
I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
-
I choose to ignore hell in my life. When I was a little kid I asked my Dad "Am I going to go to hell?" because I'd heard about hell. And he said, "Nothing you're gonna do will get you into hell." And so I got to ignore it.
-
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.
-
I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.
-
Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.
-
Wedding Singer taught us we shouldnt be afraid of making people feel emotional in the middle of the movie, rather than just dealing with comedy.