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I wish I was a better athlete. That would have been a little cooler, being a great boxer and walking into a room and going: "I can knock everybody out!" That's a good feeling.
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He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?
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I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.
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Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I'd make one that I can't get yelled at for.
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Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.
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Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.
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The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep thinking about it. I wake up thinking about. I'm trying to do the right thing. With the amount of money I have, it's difficult to raise children the way I was raised. But I took away the west and north wing of the house for those guys. So, they're not allowed in there.
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I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
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It definitely has learning a lesson about the way you're living your life. I wouldn't compare our movie to that, but it has a structure where it's about a man who doesn't appreciate all that he has and finds out at the end that life has been great and he has to enjoy that.
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I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
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Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!
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So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.
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The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.
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Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!
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One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.
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I'm not making every decision due to my children. But I do hope they never see some movies I'm doing. But I do want to do more family-friendly movies.
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I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that. But comedy thing and making movies and stuff, I love it so much that I do get driven to push myself as hard as I can.
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When I was kid, yeah, my family, my parents wanted me to marry a Jewish girl because that was what they taught their children, and thought it would be an easier life for me to raise a Jewish kid. And I have a Jewish wife, I have a Jewish kid. They seem pretty happy about it.
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I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.
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I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.
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I like sitting and writing with my buddies.
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Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.
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Wedding Singer taught us we shouldnt be afraid of making people feel emotional in the middle of the movie, rather than just dealing with comedy.
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When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.