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We [ with Andy Samberg] knew each other for the last few years, our names are similar, our looks are a little bit similar, and our backgrounds are similar. The Judaism is quite similar.
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My hobbies are run-on sentences.
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It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.
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You've just got to give yourself time - that's good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you're good at and what you're not good at.
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Like every other rich asshole, I have a cook and he's in my trailer making food all the time.
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I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.
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It's important I surround myself with people who make me happy.
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Paul Newman's half Jewish and Florence Henderson's half, too Put them together, What a fine looking Jew!
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I choose to ignore hell in my life. When I was a little kid I asked my Dad "Am I going to go to hell?" because I'd heard about hell. And he said, "Nothing you're gonna do will get you into hell." And so I got to ignore it.
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I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.
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I never want movie theaters go away. It is the greatest time out on the town. You go out, it's a great place to go, great location, great hang, great date, good place to be with friends. But as an actor who works hard at making movies, I am glad that no matter what people can see your movie on. It's hard to keep a theater for long time; there are so many movies, so when you leave a theater, you're just glad there's a life for your movie.
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I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.
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God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.
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When I was kid, yeah, my family, my parents wanted me to marry a Jewish girl because that was what they taught their children, and thought it would be an easier life for me to raise a Jewish kid. And I have a Jewish wife, I have a Jewish kid. They seem pretty happy about it.
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My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
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I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that. But comedy thing and making movies and stuff, I love it so much that I do get driven to push myself as hard as I can.
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I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.
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I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.
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The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.
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I wish I was a better athlete. That would have been a little cooler, being a great boxer and walking into a room and going: "I can knock everybody out!" That's a good feeling.
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It definitely has learning a lesson about the way you're living your life. I wouldn't compare our movie to that, but it has a structure where it's about a man who doesn't appreciate all that he has and finds out at the end that life has been great and he has to enjoy that.
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I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
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Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.
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I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.