Humor Quotes
-
It's more difficult getting up early in the morning when you're wearing silk pajamas.
-
There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
-
I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
-
The ballgame is over...in this inning.
-
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."
-
I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes
-
The way humor's usually used in horror, it's as a pressure-release valve; without it, the drama would escalate out of all control almost immediately.
-
Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
-
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.
-
But you shall not escape my iambics.
-
I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.
-
Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
-
The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.
-
Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.
-
Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.
-
Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
-
I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk!
-
I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.
-
Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.
-
You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.
-
I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as fun as laughing yourself.
-
I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love.
-
The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.
-
I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
