Humor Quotes
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Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own
William Shakespeare
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You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
Katie Nolan
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Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented.
Richard Roeper
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There is something to me very softening in the presence of a woman, some strange influence, even if one is not in love with them, which I cannot at all account for, having no very high opinion of the sex. But yet, I always feel in better humor with myself and every thing else, if there is a woman within ken.
Lord Byron
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Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.
Jerry Coleman
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There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.
Jerry Coleman
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It's nice when you are with a guy who can find the humor in touch situations and be comfortable enough in his own skin that he can laugh at himself.
Mikaela Hoover
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A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
Josh Bowman
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Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.
Jerry Coleman
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There is scarcely an aspect of the American character to which humor is not related, few which in some sense it has not governed. ... It is a lawless element, full of surprises.
Constance Rourke
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The humanity of the piece, the humor and insightfulness, and intelligence, they were what I read, and what I experienced when I got to see what was on the screen, ... I'm really happy with the film. In terms of my hopes and expectations, they were realized. It's a great role, and I had a great time performing it.
Keanu Reeves
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I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
Jim Gaffigan
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Good-humor makes all things tolerable.
Henry Ward Beecher
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My dad has a very dry sense of humor and my mom has a more fun, silly sense of humor. My mom is the type that, at the dinner table, you'd look over at and she'd have a piece of asparagus hanging down her nose. Classic mom bit.
Katie Dippold
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I think humor is like a shield that lets you get as close to the sad sad flame as possible - far closer, oftentimes, than drama.
Alissa Nutting
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
Mickey Rooney
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
Steve Martin
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Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.
Sarah Silverman
