Humor Quotes
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I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk!
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Well, honor is the subject of my story.
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
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Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.
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I always try to be ironistic in everything I do. I love people who understand humor and who live through humor. So, of course, I was not too serious covering such things as Motörhead or "Black Magic Woman" by Santana. But I was serious enough about Led Zeppelin and the Celtic song "Wild Mountain Thyme." In my life, serious and humor are always together.
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I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.
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Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
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Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.
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The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.
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That's a problem I have a lot of the time with humor in music, where it just kind of stops at the obvious level of: 'Hey, isn't it something that's in bad taste?'
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The ballgame is over...in this inning.
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Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."
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I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes
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But you shall not escape my iambics.
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Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
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You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.
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Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.
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Apparently sometimes my humor is dryer than a desert.
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It seems to me that a man who is incapable of humor is capable of cruelty.
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Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
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There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
