Humor Quotes
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Humor is wit and love.
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To me, sadness and humor aren't disrelated and humor is the best tool I've had against the sadness in my life.
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I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.
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Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.
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I think absurdist humor is funny...
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Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.
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You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Don't forget to bring your sense of humor to your labor.
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When I was younger, when I was a teenager, the work was more satirical and funny and cartoony. And part of it was chops - if you have a more limited repertoire of stick figures and cartoon characters, they lend themselves more to humor than to tragedy.
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It's nice when you are with a guy who can find the humor in touch situations and be comfortable enough in his own skin that he can laugh at himself.
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I am not at all in a humour for writing; I must write on till I am.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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If you want a lot of visual humor, the way to do it is have visual people do it.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
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The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.
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Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, ‘Oh, they’re nice,’ but if a stranger’s ugly, you’re like, ‘What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
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The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.
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My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.
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I'll come out and say it because no one else will: French gross-out humor is the best. Particularly the illustrated variety.
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Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
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It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
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Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
