Humor Quotes
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
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But you shall not escape my iambics.
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Good-humor makes all things tolerable.
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I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love.
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I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
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Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.
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I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as fun as laughing yourself.
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Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
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Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
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Humor is a way to deal with stresses. It is a way to cope.
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.
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Humor is wit and love.
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We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.
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I was out walking the other evening. This fellow accosted me, and asked if that was the moon up there in the sky. I replied that I had no idea, as I was a stranger there myself.
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I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.
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You have to have a sense of humor if you follow politics. Otherwise, the sheer fraudulence of it all will get you down.
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I could never be Charlie Chaplin. But the films that were made by people like him, or Gene Wilder, or John Candy, the people that inspired me so much were the people that were able to combine humor with heartbreak so beautifully and fluidly. Those films I think were what inspired me to want to come to L.A. and audition for movies.
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I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
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It's all there-the boredom, the devotion, the horror and even the humor in an industrial war fought on a global scale that we'll never see again. Unit histories just do not get any better.
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There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.
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Humor is an amazing way to talk people down off a ledge.
