Humor Quotes
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
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I think humor is like a shield that lets you get as close to the sad sad flame as possible - far closer, oftentimes, than drama.
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There is scarcely an aspect of the American character to which humor is not related, few which in some sense it has not governed. ... It is a lawless element, full of surprises.
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Good-humor makes all things tolerable.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
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A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
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Humor is a way to deal with stresses. It is a way to cope.
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Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
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The way humor's usually used in horror, it's as a pressure-release valve; without it, the drama would escalate out of all control almost immediately.
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Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
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I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."
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I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love.
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Cathy was the first widely syndicated humor strip created by a woman. The strip was pretty revolutionary at the time not only because it starred a female, but also because it was so emotionally honest about all the conflicting feelings many women had in 1976.
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Never accept a drink from a urologist.
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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Delicate humor is the crowning virtue of the saints.
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To me, sadness and humor aren't disrelated and humor is the best tool I've had against the sadness in my life.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
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Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.
