Humor Quotes
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There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.
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He can be lethal death.
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Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
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It seems to me that a man who is incapable of humor is capable of cruelty.
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We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.
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Good-humor makes all things tolerable.
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
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'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
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I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you."
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I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.
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There is scarcely an aspect of the American character to which humor is not related, few which in some sense it has not governed. ... It is a lawless element, full of surprises.
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I like boys with humor.
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I love playing people who don't have a sense of humor for instance, there's nothing funnier to me than a person with no sense of humor.
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Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?
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They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
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Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer.
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There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.
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I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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I could never be Charlie Chaplin. But the films that were made by people like him, or Gene Wilder, or John Candy, the people that inspired me so much were the people that were able to combine humor with heartbreak so beautifully and fluidly. Those films I think were what inspired me to want to come to L.A. and audition for movies.
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You have to have a sense of humor if you follow politics. Otherwise, the sheer fraudulence of it all will get you down.
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Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.
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Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.
