Humor Quotes
-
I don't know how to describe my sense of humor.
-
It's more difficult getting up early in the morning when you're wearing silk pajamas.
-
Wit and humor belong to genius alone.
-
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'
-
The way humor's usually used in horror, it's as a pressure-release valve; without it, the drama would escalate out of all control almost immediately.
-
Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
-
You have to have a sense of humor if you follow politics. Otherwise, the sheer fraudulence of it all will get you down.
-
Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.
-
Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
-
Good-humor makes all things tolerable.
-
I like people with a good sense of humor, like Jennifer Aniston. She is amazing and is a great actress.
-
Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.
-
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."
-
I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling.
-
I love a sense of humor, I love intelligence, I love specificity, I love surprises. I'm inspired to get out of bed in the morning and fill my day with good things.
-
There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
-
I suppose I miss the British cynicism and the humor.
-
I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
-
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
-
Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.
-
The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.
-
Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
-
I love playing people who don't have a sense of humor for instance, there's nothing funnier to me than a person with no sense of humor.
-
Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
