Humor Quotes
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
Jim Gaffigan -
I could never be Charlie Chaplin. But the films that were made by people like him, or Gene Wilder, or John Candy, the people that inspired me so much were the people that were able to combine humor with heartbreak so beautifully and fluidly. Those films I think were what inspired me to want to come to L.A. and audition for movies.
Emma Stone
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Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?
Jim Gaffigan -
You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
Jim Gaffigan -
I like boys with humor.
Luisana Lopilato -
The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story.
Stephen Sommers -
Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.
Jerry Coleman -
To me, sadness and humor aren't disrelated and humor is the best tool I've had against the sadness in my life.
Mike Mills
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That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
Jerry Coleman -
Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"
Jim Gaffigan -
It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
Jim Gaffigan -
Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.
Bill Vaughan -
The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri.
Jerry Coleman -
I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.
Chic Murray
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Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.
Steven Tyler Aerosmith -
My dad has a very dry sense of humor and my mom has a more fun, silly sense of humor. My mom is the type that, at the dinner table, you'd look over at and she'd have a piece of asparagus hanging down her nose. Classic mom bit.
Katie Dippold -
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."
P. J. O'Rourke -
Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.
Jerry Coleman -
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Charles Dickens -
I think it's terribly difficult to take sex seriously if you've got a sense of humor.
Charlotte Bingham
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I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.
Johnny Depp -
I love playing people who don't have a sense of humor for instance, there's nothing funnier to me than a person with no sense of humor.
Rita Moreno -
Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.
William Morris -
I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.
Chic Murray