Humor Quotes
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We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
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Well, honor is the subject of my story.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him.
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Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
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I am not at all in a humour for writing; I must write on till I am.
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Humor is a way to deal with stresses. It is a way to cope.
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I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!"
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I'm not too modest of a person. I've got a pretty blue sense of humor.
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Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.
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Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.
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I always try to be ironistic in everything I do. I love people who understand humor and who live through humor. So, of course, I was not too serious covering such things as Motörhead or "Black Magic Woman" by Santana. But I was serious enough about Led Zeppelin and the Celtic song "Wild Mountain Thyme." In my life, serious and humor are always together.
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But you shall not escape my iambics.
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Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
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Humor is the mistress of tears.
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Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
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The ballgame is over...in this inning.
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The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.
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I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
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Apparently sometimes my humor is dryer than a desert.
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That's a problem I have a lot of the time with humor in music, where it just kind of stops at the obvious level of: 'Hey, isn't it something that's in bad taste?'
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A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
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It's more difficult getting up early in the morning when you're wearing silk pajamas.
