Humor Quotes
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Humor is the mistress of tears.
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I think Canadian humor is a little less broad than American humor.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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What is wanted for the nonce is, that folks should be as agreeable as possible in conversation and demeanor; so that good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in societ.
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That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
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You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
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The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
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The way humor's usually used in horror, it's as a pressure-release valve; without it, the drama would escalate out of all control almost immediately.
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Cathy was the first widely syndicated humor strip created by a woman. The strip was pretty revolutionary at the time not only because it starred a female, but also because it was so emotionally honest about all the conflicting feelings many women had in 1976.
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I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'
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Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own
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I have a good sense of humor. I think everything we do should have whimsy in it.
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What a great hitch to pit!
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If I can't find a theme, I can't make a film anyone else will feel. I can't laugh at intellectual humor. I'm just corny enough to like to have a story hit me over the heart.
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Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
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There is something to me very softening in the presence of a woman, some strange influence, even if one is not in love with them, which I cannot at all account for, having no very high opinion of the sex. But yet, I always feel in better humor with myself and every thing else, if there is a woman within ken.
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Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.
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Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented.
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Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.
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There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.
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My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it's just straight, wholesome type of humor.
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The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.
