Humor Quotes
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The ballgame is over...in this inning.
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Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.
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Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.
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I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'
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I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.
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My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you.
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I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.
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A crisis + time = humor.
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In Ali change creation faith growth hope humor life living Muhammad Ali transformation wonder. If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
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No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .
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I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"
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Vincent Price did Oscar Wilde on Broadway, and I think he probably did it because he was almost like an Oscar Wilde. He had that brilliant humor.
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Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
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Wit and humor belong to genius alone.
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I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
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I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes
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Good humor is the sunshine of the mind.
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I have a good sense of humor. I think everything we do should have whimsy in it.
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There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.
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You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
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The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
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The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
