Humor Quotes
-
I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk!
Steve Martin
-
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Carol Leifer
-
Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.
Jerry Coleman
-
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
Agnes Varda
-
I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"
Jim Gaffigan
-
A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
Josh Bowman
-
We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!
Jerry Coleman
-
There is something to me very softening in the presence of a woman, some strange influence, even if one is not in love with them, which I cannot at all account for, having no very high opinion of the sex. But yet, I always feel in better humor with myself and every thing else, if there is a woman within ken.
Lord Byron
-
Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
Jim Gaffigan
-
I have a good sense of humor. I think everything we do should have whimsy in it.
Judith Leiber
