Humor Quotes
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The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.
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A crisis + time = humor.
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Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
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Jazz is musical humor. The noun jazz describes a modern American technique for the playing of any music, accompanied by noise called harmony, and interpolated instrumental effects. It also describes music exhibiting influence of that technique which has as its traditional object to secure the effects of surprise, or in the broadest sense, humor.
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
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I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
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I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"
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The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
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I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.
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There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
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Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
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The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
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Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.
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I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.
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I think Canadian humor is a little less broad than American humor.
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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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In Ali change creation faith growth hope humor life living Muhammad Ali transformation wonder. If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
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Humor is the mistress of tears.
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'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
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Humor is a means of obtaining pleasure in spite of the distressing effects that interface with it.
