Humor Quotes
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I always try to be ironistic in everything I do. I love people who understand humor and who live through humor. So, of course, I was not too serious covering such things as Motörhead or "Black Magic Woman" by Santana. But I was serious enough about Led Zeppelin and the Celtic song "Wild Mountain Thyme." In my life, serious and humor are always together.
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The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
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Humor is a means of obtaining pleasure in spite of the distressing effects that interface with it.
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
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The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
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I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes
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I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .
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We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.
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I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.
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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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What is wanted for the nonce is, that folks should be as agreeable as possible in conversation and demeanor; so that good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in societ.
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
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Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.
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The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
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I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.
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I was out walking the other evening. This fellow accosted me, and asked if that was the moon up there in the sky. I replied that I had no idea, as I was a stranger there myself.
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If you can understand the humor in the drawing part you'll probably get the humor in the audio part.
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Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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There is something to me very softening in the presence of a woman, some strange influence, even if one is not in love with them, which I cannot at all account for, having no very high opinion of the sex. But yet, I always feel in better humor with myself and every thing else, if there is a woman within ken.
