Humor Quotes
-
A crisis + time = humor.
-
I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."
-
The ballgame is over...in this inning.
-
That's a problem I have a lot of the time with humor in music, where it just kind of stops at the obvious level of: 'Hey, isn't it something that's in bad taste?'
-
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
-
I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.
-
Prior to Wordsworth, humor was an essential part of poetry. I mean, they don't call them Shakespeare comedies for nothing.
-
He that cometh to seek after knowledge, with a mind to scorn, shall be sure to find matter for his humour, but no matter for his instruction.
-
After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.
-
Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
-
Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
-
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
-
Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
-
The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
-
It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.
-
I will say that as I get older and calmer and quieter in my own self, the one quality in a woman that I find more and more attractive is kindness. A sense of adventure and humor is important too, but I truly find kindness and consideration for others to be the most attractive thing in anyone.
-
I think the Canadian sense of humor is dryer than America's and juicier than Britain's. I think it's a cross between the two of them, really.
-
My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
-
I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.
-
The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
-
I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.
-
But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.
-
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
-
That home run ties it up, 1-0.
