Humor Quotes
-
Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.
-
Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"
-
The ballgame is over...in this inning.
-
The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
-
A crisis + time = humor.
-
I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.
-
The humanity of the piece, the humor and insightfulness, and intelligence, they were what I read, and what I experienced when I got to see what was on the screen, ... I'm really happy with the film. In terms of my hopes and expectations, they were realized. It's a great role, and I had a great time performing it.
-
A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
-
I'm not too modest of a person. I've got a pretty blue sense of humor.
-
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
-
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
-
But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.
-
Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
-
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
-
Jazz is musical humor. The noun jazz describes a modern American technique for the playing of any music, accompanied by noise called harmony, and interpolated instrumental effects. It also describes music exhibiting influence of that technique which has as its traditional object to secure the effects of surprise, or in the broadest sense, humor.
-
I thought it was time to add a little humor.
-
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
-
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
-
There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.
-
I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.
-
Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
-
Vincent Price did Oscar Wilde on Broadway, and I think he probably did it because he was almost like an Oscar Wilde. He had that brilliant humor.
-
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
-
Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.
