Humor Quotes
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Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
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Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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Good humor, like the jaundice, makes every one of its own complexion.
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There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
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Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.
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My dad has a very dry sense of humor and my mom has a more fun, silly sense of humor. My mom is the type that, at the dinner table, you'd look over at and she'd have a piece of asparagus hanging down her nose. Classic mom bit.
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Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.
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It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.
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Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.
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I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.
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Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.
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You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
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There is a grim and ghastly humor -- the humor that is born of a pathetic philosophy -- which now and then strikes me in reading the bright and keen-witted work of our American paragraphers. It is a humor that may be crystallized by hunger and sorrow and tears. It is not found elsewhere as it is in America. It is out of the question in England, because an Englishman cannot poke fun at himself. He cannot joke about an empty flour-barrel. We can: especially if by doing it we may swap the joke for another barrel of flour. We can never be a nation of snobs so long as we are willing to poke fun at ourselves.
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I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself. I crossed the landing and went down stairs. Mind you, if there had been no stairs, I wouldn't even have attempted it.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".
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Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.
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Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
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I come from a very big family. Nine parents.
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We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!
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The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
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There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.
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I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.
