Humor Quotes
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I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself. I crossed the landing and went down stairs. Mind you, if there had been no stairs, I wouldn't even have attempted it.
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I am a great believer that what makes our show different is the humor.
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Humor is wit and love.
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There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
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I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
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But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.
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A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
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The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there.
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Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"
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I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.
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Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.
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A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
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Jazz is musical humor. The noun jazz describes a modern American technique for the playing of any music, accompanied by noise called harmony, and interpolated instrumental effects. It also describes music exhibiting influence of that technique which has as its traditional object to secure the effects of surprise, or in the broadest sense, humor.
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I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.
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Vincent Price did Oscar Wilde on Broadway, and I think he probably did it because he was almost like an Oscar Wilde. He had that brilliant humor.
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There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.
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Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.
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Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
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The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
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I thought it was time to add a little humor.
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I'm not too modest of a person. I've got a pretty blue sense of humor.
