Humor Quotes
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You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."
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Oh Lord, give us a sense of humor with courage to manifest it forth, so that we may laugh to shame the pomps, the vanities, the sense of self-importance of the Big Fellows that the world sometimes sends among us, and who try to take our peace away.
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There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base.
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Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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I cannot put into words how happy I was to have had the opportunity to be around him as much as I was. He had a great sense of humor, and through his humor, one could find his wisdom.
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With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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I have always found humor in places where humor wasn't necessarily intended.
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I think the Canadian sense of humor is dryer than America's and juicier than Britain's. I think it's a cross between the two of them, really.
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A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
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Good humor, like the jaundice, makes every one of its own complexion.
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I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling.
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Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
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I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
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It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.
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I think humor is like a shield that lets you get as close to the sad sad flame as possible - far closer, oftentimes, than drama.
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Humor is wit and love.
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He that cometh to seek after knowledge, with a mind to scorn, shall be sure to find matter for his humour, but no matter for his instruction.
