Humor Quotes
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".
Sarah Silverman -
Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"
Jim Gaffigan
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
Will Cuppy -
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Scott Adams -
In business, there are times when you disagree, and sometimes it turns out that you're just plain wrong. Humor takes away tension and helps you realize you're wrong.
Craig Newmark -
No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .
Conan O'Brien -
Humor has been a fashioning instrument in America, cleaving its way through the national life, holding tenaciously to the spread elements of that life. Its mode has often been swift and coarse and ruthless, beyond art and beyond established civilization. It has engaged in warfare against the established heritage, against the bonds of pioneer existence. Its objective --the unconscious objective of a disunited people --has seemed to be that of creating fresh bonds, a new unity, the semblance of a society and the rounded completion of an American type.
Constance Rourke -
The humanity of the piece, the humor and insightfulness, and intelligence, they were what I read, and what I experienced when I got to see what was on the screen, ... I'm really happy with the film. In terms of my hopes and expectations, they were realized. It's a great role, and I had a great time performing it.
Keanu Reeves
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I thought it was time to add a little humor.
J. M. Roberts -
The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
Jim Gaffigan -
And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.
Jerry Coleman -
The big ballpark can do it all!
Jerry Coleman -
Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.
Miguel de Cervantes -
You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
Katie Nolan
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Humor is a means of obtaining pleasure in spite of the distressing effects that interface with it.
Sigmund Freud -
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how we can reverse the process.
Erma Bombeck -
I had these slinky eyes and a sense of humor.
Myrna Loy -
I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.
Jerry Coleman -
I always try to be ironistic in everything I do. I love people who understand humor and who live through humor. So, of course, I was not too serious covering such things as Motörhead or "Black Magic Woman" by Santana. But I was serious enough about Led Zeppelin and the Celtic song "Wild Mountain Thyme." In my life, serious and humor are always together.
Albert Kuvezin -
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think Canadian humor is a little less broad than American humor.
Scott Thompson -
How do you feel, Georgie?" whispered Mrs. Weasley. George's fingers groped for the side of his head. "Saintlike," he murmured. "What's wrong with him?" croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?" "Saintlike," repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm HOLEY, Fred, geddit?
Joanne Rowling -
I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.
Jim Gaffigan -
The ballgame is over...in this inning.
Jerry Coleman