Humor Quotes
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
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I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
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Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
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Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high school. 3. Spend time alone. 4. Don't take a comedy course. 5. Read other humorists but don't worship them. 6. Don't get your hopes up.
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Theres no drama like wrestling.
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A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.
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The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.
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For me, it would be very difficult to express an opinion about our times without humor. I don't think you could do that.
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And when we take ourselves too seriously, we are grim about the brothers and sisters, especially the dissenting ones, and there will be no health in us and no healing humor.
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Every culture loves scatological humour. That's always a favourite.
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Figuring out a way to use humor to deal with important issues I think is very important. Laughter is a great diffuser.
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There's a combination of things to survive the road trip. Humor would be key. If everyone has relatively the same sense of humor, then that helps. And things in common, like food, eating.
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I don't think there's anything to be afraid of. Failure brings great rewards - in the life of an artist.
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
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Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable.
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I rang the bell of this small bed-and breakfast place, whereupon a lady appeared at an outside window. "What do you want?", she asked. "I want to stay here", I replied. "Well, stay there then", she said and closed the window.
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Prior to Wordsworth, humor was an essential part of poetry. I mean, they don't call them Shakespeare comedies for nothing.
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This predilection of bright women to twist themselves into bizarre submissive postures from which only humor can release them is something die-hard feminists will never address. But Iris and I were in agreement: there is nothing that warms a smart girl's heart like the smile on the face of a sadist.
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Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.
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Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".
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What intrigued me about him was his intelligence, his humor. I'd been all over the world. I had started a career. At that point, I had sort of committed myself to not committing. I didn't want to have to raise a husband, but he was so sophisticated and so funny.
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
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I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).
