Humor Quotes
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Humor is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1.
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I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.
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For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
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Netflix did it right and focused on all the things that have replaced the dumb, raw numbers of the Nielsen world - they embraced targeted marketing and 'brand' as a virtue higher than ratings.
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That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"
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We write to tell a story, to describe an event, to imagine or explain what has been or will happen, to warn or touch or inspire. We write to express our most profound emotions—love and hatred, joy and sorrow, humor and sadness.
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In Beautiful, Mr. Shearer writes with humor and has fun with some of the glorious nonsense of Lamarr's movies.
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Humor makes our heavy burdens light and smoothes the rough spots in our pathways.
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Amy Schumer is a really, really hilarious writer. She's super funny, and I feel like the core of our senses of humor is really similar.
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I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
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Why have they been telling us women lately that we have no sense of humor -- when we are always laughing? . . . and when we're not laughing, we're smiling.
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A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it.
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Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality.
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I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
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I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy.
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If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
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Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play.
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At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.
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I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.
