Humor Quotes
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I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Jim Gaffigan
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Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.
Erma Bombeck
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DeShaies is like a clock out there. Every other pitch goes one way or the other.
Jerry Coleman
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I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.
Sarah Silverman
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The original WAS a fun film. [Paul] Verhoeven made a couple of 'Robocops' that were so great, too. I think the level of excitement is great and Arnie [Schwarzenegger] was particularly charismatic with that chopped up English, and the size of the man with his confidence and sense of humor.
Colin Farrell
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I use humor instead of getting into that whole yes and no thing all the time. It's about just getting them to laugh rather than getting in power struggles.
Marcia Cross
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If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.
Angelina Jolie
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We write to tell a story, to describe an event, to imagine or explain what has been or will happen, to warn or touch or inspire. We write to express our most profound emotions—love and hatred, joy and sorrow, humor and sadness.
Sam Barry
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Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play.
Jerry Coleman
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
Andy Rooney
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Australia is not very exclusive. On the visa application they still ask if you've been convicted of a felony - although they are willing to give you a visa even if you haven't been.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Aristotle
