Humor Quotes
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A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.
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I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).
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Every culture loves scatological humour. That's always a favourite.
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In Beautiful, Mr. Shearer writes with humor and has fun with some of the glorious nonsense of Lamarr's movies.
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Theres no drama like wrestling.
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
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For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
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Humor makes our heavy burdens light and smoothes the rough spots in our pathways.
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The essence of humor is sensibility; warm, tender fellow-feeling with all forms of existence.
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Netflix did it right and focused on all the things that have replaced the dumb, raw numbers of the Nielsen world - they embraced targeted marketing and 'brand' as a virtue higher than ratings.
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Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.
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At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.
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Amy Schumer is a really, really hilarious writer. She's super funny, and I feel like the core of our senses of humor is really similar.
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If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.
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A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
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How fatally the entire want of humor cripples the mind.
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I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself. I crossed the landing and went down stairs. Mind you, if there had been no stairs, I wouldn't even have attempted it.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".
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I love National Geographic. Just when you think you've seen the last lost native tribe, National Geographic will find a new one.
