Humor Quotes
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Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1.
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The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?
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A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.
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The essence of humor is sensibility; warm, tender fellow-feeling with all forms of existence.
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A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
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I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself. I crossed the landing and went down stairs. Mind you, if there had been no stairs, I wouldn't even have attempted it.
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For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"
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At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.
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If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.
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Theres no drama like wrestling.
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Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play.
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My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you.
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I am a great believer that what makes our show different is the humor.
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I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.
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I had no way to have a sense of humor about The Exorcist. I didn't know how. And this enabled me.
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Netflix did it right and focused on all the things that have replaced the dumb, raw numbers of the Nielsen world - they embraced targeted marketing and 'brand' as a virtue higher than ratings.
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Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.
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Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.
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What intrigued me about him was his intelligence, his humor. I'd been all over the world. I had started a career. At that point, I had sort of committed myself to not committing. I didn't want to have to raise a husband, but he was so sophisticated and so funny.
