Humor Quotes
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With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!
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I had these slinky eyes and a sense of humor.
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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri.
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Vincent Price did Oscar Wilde on Broadway, and I think he probably did it because he was almost like an Oscar Wilde. He had that brilliant humor.
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Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
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A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.
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You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."
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I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."
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But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.
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There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base.
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In business, there are times when you disagree, and sometimes it turns out that you're just plain wrong. Humor takes away tension and helps you realize you're wrong.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
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The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
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Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.
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The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there.
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A lot of my humor does come from anger. It's like, you're not gonna pull one over on me - which is pretty much my motto anyways.
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Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.
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A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.
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Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.
