Funny Quotes
-
I have a funny accent in every language.
-
Life is a funny thing, the minute you think you've got everything figured out something comes along and turns it all upside down.
-
I love the impatience of New York... You ever had somebody not ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know, like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time.
-
After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!
-
I feel like I'm edgy and I'm funny and I got this bite, this outrageousness.
-
It's funny how you get a bit older and become more accepting of things. When you're in your twenties, you're skeptical of everything. I definitely felt like that.
-
It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.
-
Don’t you worry there, my honey. We might not have any money. But we’ve got our love to pay the bills. Maybe I think you’re cute and funny. Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean?
-
I never thought of myself as like, a funny person.
-
It's funny: I've always wanted to grow my hair out ,and I always seem to get a movie right before it's sort of the right length or right after, and it's never timed right.
-
It's funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together.
-
Learning to be your natural self in front of five cameras and a silent studio takes time. Trying to be funny under duress is probably a lot like trying to play golf relaxed under pressure.
-
The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.
-
I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it was his personality and how funny and charming he was.
-
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
-
I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
-
I was a very quiet child growing up. I always knew that I was funny - I just never put it to use.
-
To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.
-
There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny.
-
I have Slavic fat pads that make me look like a chipmunk and arched predatory eyebrows. With that, you're not going to get funny. That's why I play so many bad guys.
-
It's funny, because I did all of these interviews as soon as I had the baby, and they were asking questions, and I really didn't have an idea of anything, because I was so blurry.
-
Sometimes I'll look back at old pictures where I'm a little heavy and dressed funny and think, 'How did I get chicks all the time?'
-
The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
-
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
