Funny Quotes
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse
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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln
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I have a weak stomach. My wife is a doctor, so she finds it funny that I actually pass out when I get my blood drawn. I physically can't stand gore on screen. I can't stand blood and guts. Not for any puritanical/moral high-ground reason. I just don't want to black out.
Christopher Denham
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Farewell, fair cruelty.
William Shakespeare
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Sausages are just funny. I don't know why. I can't explain it.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge
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I love actors, and I love the casting process. It's funny, like, some writers don't like actors because, I think, they are the faces of the show, and so you feel sort of secondary, but I love actors because they elevate the material; they make it better.
Bryan Fuller
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I wasn't that hard. I wasn't that tough. I wasn't that funny – I looked like me.
Eddie Marsan
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Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree.
Ellen Muth
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It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.
Zora Neale Hurston
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Writing humor for me is more like a watchful-ness. You have to watch. When you say something funny, or someone else does, it's more like you wait for the piece.
Ian Frazier
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My father was very sick around the time I was born. The doctors thought he wouldn't live. He did recover, but I don't remember him as very active. I do remember lots of schtick around the dinner table. Generally, he and my brothers and I were all laughing at the same thing my mother did not find funny, whatever that was.
Albert Brooks
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I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
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If your partner is consistently unhappy, it won't matter if they're incredibly sexy, wildly funny, impressively successful, adorably charismatic - your relationship will be weighed down under the heaviness of their moods.
Karen Salmansohn
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My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.
Ian Hislop
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Funny is an attitude.
Flip Wilson
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Political satire is a serious thing. In democratic newspapers throughout the world there are daily cartoons that often are not even funny, as is the case especially in many English-language newspapers. Instead, they contain a political message, and the artist takes full responsibility.
Umberto Eco
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I'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
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The funny thing is, people's perceptions of what a song is about is usually wrong a majority of the time. But they're still going to read what they want to into it.
Vince Gill
