Funny Quotes
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Do you laugh in the right places? Then, you’ll get along, in fair weather or foul. Humor is nothing less than a sense of the fitness of things. Something that’s out of proportion, like an inflated ego, should strike you funny, particularly if it’s your own inflated ego. Otherwise you are pathetic and quite hopeless.
Carole Lombard
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I think it's just funny, the things that come out of people's mouths, whether it's a politician, whether it's an average person on the street - and to be honest with you, sometimes these politicians sound like average people on the street.
Jesse Watters
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I think poshness is very funny! But I think it's also delightful. There's something wonderful and very innocent about it, particularly with the Edwardians.
Ben Miller
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I don't think I'm a funny person in general. I have had to learn comedy.
Ashton Kutcher
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If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. And if you do have to say it, make it really funny so I can screenshot it and save it for later.
Sabrina Carpenter
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
Vanessa Bayer
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Funny is an attitude.
Flip Wilson
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If your partner is consistently unhappy, it won't matter if they're incredibly sexy, wildly funny, impressively successful, adorably charismatic - your relationship will be weighed down under the heaviness of their moods.
Karen Salmansohn
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Generally it's not a good idea to wear Banana Republic - type khaki journalist clothes in a war zone. You might look too much like something that's supposed to be shot, such as a journalist.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I took dance from a very early age, although my first recital, I remember refusing to go onstage. I think I was three. It's funny because that stage was also my high school theater stage.
Phillipa Soo
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.
Zora Neale Hurston
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As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
J. B. Smoove
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It's funny, because in drama school, my greatest strength was my range. So my early career was like that: I played all kinds of different characters.
Lance Reddick
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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln
