Funny Quotes
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If your partner is consistently unhappy, it won't matter if they're incredibly sexy, wildly funny, impressively successful, adorably charismatic - your relationship will be weighed down under the heaviness of their moods.
Karen Salmansohn
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
Sam Worthington
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Generally it's not a good idea to wear Banana Republic - type khaki journalist clothes in a war zone. You might look too much like something that's supposed to be shot, such as a journalist.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I think it's just funny, the things that come out of people's mouths, whether it's a politician, whether it's an average person on the street - and to be honest with you, sometimes these politicians sound like average people on the street.
Jesse Watters
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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Mae West
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It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.
Zora Neale Hurston
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It's funny, because in drama school, my greatest strength was my range. So my early career was like that: I played all kinds of different characters.
Lance Reddick
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
Vanessa Bayer
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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln
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If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. And if you do have to say it, make it really funny so I can screenshot it and save it for later.
Sabrina Carpenter
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As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I don't write literary fiction - I write books that are entertaining, but are also, I hope, well-constructed and thoughtful and funny and have things to say about men and women and families and children and life in America today.
Jennifer Weiner
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I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
J. B. Smoove
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I have a funny relationship with religion. I'm a big believer in ritualistic behavior as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I'm not a big fan of rules. And yet, we cannot live in a world without order.
Madonna
Breakfast Club
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I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.
Karl Lagerfeld
