Funny Quotes
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He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books".
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Fast is only cool if it's melodic and has substance.
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In this world, everyone wants to know everything about you, and I think that's funny.
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I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.
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Sure. I’d like to live regular. Go home to a good looking wife, a hot dinner, and a husky kid. But I guess I got film in my blood. I love this racket. It’s exciting. It’s dangerous. It’s funny. It’s tough. It’s heartbreaking.
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Dad was the first man I fell in love with. He was a very funny man. He grew up in the East End of London and was very dynamic, and I understood why my mother fell in love with him.
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It's funny, my kids and I live together, and I have a lot of actor friends. So my kids think everyone is on television every now and again, since everyone they know pops up here, but there's a whole rap of things they won't watch until they're 16 or 17.
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If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.
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I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.
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As a kid, I had to be funny.
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The funny thing about being creative is that, especially high school people, I kept noticing I'd always go to these certain materials. I'd always be picking up trash and picking up paper and using it.
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I've got funny things. David Duchovny had to have a cast made of his face to do an old person's make-up, and I've got that cast of his face in my house. I've got something from the pilot, the original implant that was in Billy Miles' head. I've got a sign from 'The Erlenmeyer Flask.' But my house isn't a museum to 'The X-Files!'
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It was funny, when I thought of it afterward, how Ruth and Gehrig looked as they stood there. The Babe must have been waiting for me to get the ball up a little so he could get his bat under it.
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I would love to host 'Saturday Night Live.' That's one of my goals in life - just putting that out there. I don't know if I'm funny enough, but we'll see.
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I've played a ghost, cat, snake. I've been funny, sad. I've been filmed flying on screen. So why not spend time on something else? I don't need to accept everything I'm offered.
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The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.
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The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.
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I remember my fourth grade teacher reading 'Charlotte's Web' and 'Stuart Little' to us - both, of course, by E. B. White. His stories were genuinely funny, thought provoking and full of irony and charm. He didn't condescend to his readers, which was why I liked his books, and why I wasn't a big reader of other children's' books.
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It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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I wasn't very funny or flashy, I was kind of boring.
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I'm so tired but I can't sleep,Standin' on the edge of something much too deep.It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word;We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard.
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I started writing 'Southern Baptist Sissies' right after I had written the screenplay for 'Sordid Lives', so that's when I started on a darker path in telling the truth about my journey in the church, but there was still a lot of funny.
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I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still funny because they're just likeable, and you want to see them. Me, though, when you see me trying to be funny, it's like the worst thing in the world. It's needy, it's cloying, it's manipulative - it's bad.
