Funny Quotes
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I'm showbiz-fat. It's so funny, in all the reviews that I read, no one wants to use the word 'fat' as an adjective. So I have to deal with 'dimpled-kneed,' 'hefty,' 'plus-sized,' the most obscure words you can imagine.
Marissa Jaret Winokur
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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
Cynthia Heimel
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I grew up watching horror films from a very young age. My sister was never able to watch scary movies; I don't think she'll ever watch mine because she's just so bad at it. Its funny because I'm the complete opposite: I love to be scared. I love to have that fear before you go to bed, and you're like, 'Oh my God, please, nothing come out.'
Daniel Zovatto
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To me, writing is remembering something funny that happened, or maybe something I said seven years ago.
Matthew Perry
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Some characters think more like me than others; some think more like my dad or someone else. It certainly is made up of my experiences, things I've heard, things I think are funny, things I think are sad. There's sort of a strange, blurry version of yourself in there.
Watt Key
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He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books".
Tommy Cooper
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I got jury duty and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't?
Sarah Silverman
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Twitter's a funny one. I mean, it's good in some respects, but I can't stand it in other respects. You know there are too many opinions, people get opinions mixed up, and people get being rude mixed up with 'that's my opinion.'
Dionne Bromfield
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In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.
Cynthia Heimel
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It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.
Gary Oldman
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I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl.
Emmanuelle Chriqui
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In the '80s, it was difficult and frustrating to appear in the theater and TV again, even though I had some successful shows and hit records. Now, I have to say, the '90s are the best decade of my life. I've done the best work and, in a funny way, I'm enjoying the most success... more than in the '70s.
David Cassidy
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But this show reminds me that there are other aspects to me besides the fact that I'm a funny chick.
Kristen Johnston
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The funny thing was, you see, that Mike Fink didn't think of himself as a murderer. He thought of life as a contest, and dying was what happened to those who came out second best, but it wasn't the same as murder, it was a fair fight.
Orson Scott Card
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I feel for Veronica Mars so much when I'm watching at home. It is a wonderful story. The writing is consistently funny, biting, charming, heart-wrenching, etc. I also like the look of it. The cinematography - different from any other show.
Jason Dohring
