Funny Quotes
-
Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.
-
Every band should study Queen at Live Aid. If you really feel like that barrier is gone, you become Freddie Mercury. I consider him the greatest frontman of all time. Like, it's funny? You'd imagine that Freddie was more than human, but... You know how he controlled Wembley Stadium at Live Aid in 1985? He stood up there and did his vocal warm ups with the audience. Something that intimate, where they realize, 'Oh yeah, he's just a f***ing dude.'
-
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
-
In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy.
-
Comedians' first ten minutes usually stay with them the first several years of their career. It's their mission statement. Their disclaimer that lets people know who they are. Or were. It's also a good time to make fun of your name if you have a funny or strange one.
-
All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh.
-
What's funny in Italy may not be funny in Spain.
-
Nobody really thinks that Bush or McCain have a real answer for the challenges we face. So what they are going to try to do is make you scared of me. You know he - oh, he's not patriotic enough. He's got a funny name. You know, he doesn't look like all of those other presidents on those dollar bills.
-
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
-
The 'Hey now's' are delivered as people pass me. As I just get near ear range, I hear, 'Hey now!' and that's very funny.
-
Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
-
Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living.
-
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
-
You know what so funny, this strike has been going on for a long time. It's lasted longer than the Civil Rights movement, what the hell is this? It's painfully obvious to me white people don't know how to protest. You need like an Al Sharpton, have a dream, go to the mountaintop, do something!
-
The funny thing is, we teach - as a culture, we teach people that it's OK to talk about your fitness goals... Like, I want to be more physically fit, I want to drop 10 pounds, but no one's talking about how I can spend 10 days to get happier.
-
When I got a call to do the voice of Johnny in an episode of 'American Dad' titled 'I Can't Stan You,' it was a great opportunity to be a part of a really funny cutting-edge show on television. I really got into the character, and I was able to do some improvisation, which allowed me to mix in part of my personality into the script.
-
I feel like any time John Oliver is added to something, the comedy is instantly there. He's so funny.
-
We all struggle. Life is not fun. A lot of times, it's really painful and hard. Sometimes it's really funny. 'Foxcatcher' is kind of like a metaphor for that.
-
I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
-
I was asking the school shrink, 'Has anyone ever told you the top of your head looks like a penis?' I thought that was a really funny thing to tell a bald shrink.
-
Chris Farley, I was a huge fan of his growing up. I would love to do something kind of slapstick and funny, maybe where I could change my look even a little bit.
-
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.
-
I've been invited to appear on Letterman, but they wanted me to talk about a funny videotape of Congress. 'Bring us your outtakes!' That's not our job.
-
Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, five guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her...
