Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.

Quotes to Explore
-
I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
-
I'm a regular person. I know a lot of people love being famous. I don't like it. I'm just chillin'. YouknowwhatI'msayin'?
-
You can be an Olympic champion in 9.5 secs, but to be the greatest, there's more to it. It takes a bit of forethought and a lot of mental application.
-
Never have I found the limits of the photographic potential. Every horizon, upon being reached, reveals another beckoning in the distance. Always, I am on the threshold.
-
When I was in school, there was no such thing as girls' athletics.
-
I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
-
The reason can only be this: heroic poetry depends on an heroic age, and an age is heroic because of what it is, not because of what it does.
-
When I won the belt, it was kind of a precedent... The only Canadian to have ever held it.
-
I believe that I'm a hillbilly in my values and in my attitudes, and I don't want to lose that. I think it's possible to maintain a big chunk of that identity so long as you're self-reflective and meaningful about it.
-
A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far.
-
I like junk food, French fries, hamburgers - I love it.
-
I can understand Communism, but not Socialism.
-
Item numbers are not my cup of tea.
-
Acting was something I had to do.
-
Let's just say, if I weren't a model, I'd be a walking collage. I see my body as a blank canvas that's aching to be decorated; I find it all very fascinating.
-
She told me that she would support me regardless of what I decided, but I'm so glad that I actually got to be a kid before having to grow up. My mom knows best about this kind of thing.
-
The man who has done his level best... is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure.
-
A hard man is good to find.
-
Much of what Karl Popper contributed to the philosophy of science has now passed into mainstream thought, into the currency of that nebulous, tricky ontology known as 'common sense.'
-
In the forensic science course I took at university they used photographs of dead bodies. For ballistics they showed us a guy lying on the floor, and his head had burst.
-
Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.
-
I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.
-
Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.