Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
Quotes to Explore
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I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
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I'm a regular person. I know a lot of people love being famous. I don't like it. I'm just chillin'. YouknowwhatI'msayin'?
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You can be an Olympic champion in 9.5 secs, but to be the greatest, there's more to it. It takes a bit of forethought and a lot of mental application.
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Never have I found the limits of the photographic potential. Every horizon, upon being reached, reveals another beckoning in the distance. Always, I am on the threshold.
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When I was in school, there was no such thing as girls' athletics.
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I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
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The reason can only be this: heroic poetry depends on an heroic age, and an age is heroic because of what it is, not because of what it does.
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When I won the belt, it was kind of a precedent... The only Canadian to have ever held it.
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I believe that I'm a hillbilly in my values and in my attitudes, and I don't want to lose that. I think it's possible to maintain a big chunk of that identity so long as you're self-reflective and meaningful about it.
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A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far.
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I like junk food, French fries, hamburgers - I love it.
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I can understand Communism, but not Socialism.
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Item numbers are not my cup of tea.
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Acting was something I had to do.
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Let's just say, if I weren't a model, I'd be a walking collage. I see my body as a blank canvas that's aching to be decorated; I find it all very fascinating.
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She told me that she would support me regardless of what I decided, but I'm so glad that I actually got to be a kid before having to grow up. My mom knows best about this kind of thing.
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The man who has done his level best... is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure.
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A hard man is good to find.
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I believe that when you're wrong, own it and apologize, and so I do and put it on the equivalent of my front page.
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We must stop planning, plotting and scheming, and let Infinite Intelligence solve the problem in its own way.
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I think sketch writing is a good spot for everyone to start because it requires you to develop characters, have a beginning, middle and end and have a bunch of jokes in a short amount of time.
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My dream of dreams is to write Broadway musicals. All of this Twitter and TV writing is just a day job.
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When you're a mom and you have three children, nothing bothers you. Trust me. Who cares what people say? I've got other things to deal with.
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Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
