Tommy Cooper Quotes
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Quotes to Explore
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I love dogs, but dogs, you have to be in the country with dogs. I cannot walk a dog on the street.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
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Getting straight A's for having lots of tests is not the same as getting A's on the tests. Weighing a malnourished dog every day doesn't make him any better.
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Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.
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I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
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Tasmania needs a watchdog, not a lap dog.
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My wife and I ran through 'Justified' in, like, a day. And that is such a funny, amazing show.
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I am particularly interested in helping to heal women who have a fistula after their pregnancies.
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We have 26,000 genes. But a blind, millimetre-long roundworm with only 959 cells in total already has over 19,000.
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It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.
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I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.
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I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.
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The thing about owls is that they do sort of have this facial disc, which is unlike any other bird. They kind of have a face, more than like a dog or a giraffe. They have this weird, alien face that you can actually make expressive.
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It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair.
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No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty-to the poor. It is hell upon earth to a sensitive man; and many a brave gentleman who would have faced the labors of Hercules has had his heart broken by its petty miseries.
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Wolf Boy is absolutely beguiling. Evan Kuhlman has boundless empathy for all his characters, and his wonderful protagonist Stephen is, in turn, boundlessly inventive. . . . This is an auspicious debut.
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Everyone has made themselves into a commodity with Facebook, Twitter - with all of these things, you're commodifying your life every time you post an Instagram picture.
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My mom gives me an allowance. She keeps me pretty tight-reined.
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
