Tommy Cooper Quotes

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

Tommy Cooper

• Funny
• Dog
• Helping
• Blind
• Assistants
• Blokes

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Quotes to Explore

• I love dogs, but dogs, you have to be in the country with dogs. I cannot walk a dog on the street.

  

  Karl Lagerfeld
  • Country
  • Love
  • Dog

• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • American
  • Funny
  • Nobody

• My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.

  

  Vanessa Bayer
  • Friends
  • Guy
  • Funny

• Getting straight A's for having lots of tests is not the same as getting A's on the tests. Weighing a malnourished dog every day doesn't make him any better.

  

  Dan Gelber
  • Day
  • Dog
  • Same

• Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.

  

  Ice Cube
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Dark

• I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

  

  Dane Cook
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Better

• Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.

  

  Immanuel Kant
  • Experience
  • Play
  • Blind

• I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.

  

  Maggie Smith
  • Happy
  • Funny
  • Find

• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

  

  P. G. Wodehouse
  • Funny
  • End
  • Gun

• Tasmania needs a watchdog, not a lap dog.

  

  Lara Giddings
  • Needs
  • Dog
  • Lap

• My wife and I ran through 'Justified' in, like, a day. And that is such a funny, amazing show.

  

  Adam Pally
  • Funny
  • Day
  • Amazing

• I am particularly interested in helping to heal women who have a fistula after their pregnancies.

  

  Dana Perino
  • Women
  • Helping
  • Pregnancies

• We have 26,000 genes. But a blind, millimetre-long roundworm with only 959 cells in total already has over 19,000.

  

  Iain McGilchrist
  • Long
  • Blind
  • Cells

• It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.

  

  Gaby Hoffmann
  • Up
  • Money
  • Funny

• I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.

  

  Harold Ramis
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Fall

• I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.

  

  Samantha Bee
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Information

• The thing about owls is that they do sort of have this facial disc, which is unlike any other bird. They kind of have a face, more than like a dog or a giraffe. They have this weird, alien face that you can actually make expressive.

  

  Zack Snyder
  • Weird
  • Dog
  • Bird

• It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair.

  

  Kate Bosworth
  • Experience
  • Funny
  • Changing

• I don't think that anybody should be suspended for life for anything, other than murder. How is it helping someone to say, 'You're done forever, your life's over'?

  

  George Steinbrenner
  • Forever
  • Should
  • Helping

• In England, the referees don't call many fouls, as opposed to Spanish football. Consequently, you must be really strong all through the 90 minutes.

  

  Diego Costa
  • Strong
  • Football
  • Spanish

• Stories come and go. The challenge is to frame the questions that voters will be asking on polling day, such as who has avoided a global depression and worked here to deliver jobs.

  

  Douglas Alexander
  • Challenge
  • Depression

• I've gotten used to the point where I'm so used to being sweaty! I like to wear less makeup and be tougher!

  

  Maggie Q
  • Like
  • Makeup
  • Where

• You have to grow thick skin and that only comes with time and learning.

  

  Karlie Kloss
  • Time
  • Learning
  • Grow

• A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

  

  Tommy Cooper
  • Funny
  • Dog
  • Helping