Tommy Cooper Quotes
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Quotes to Explore
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I love dogs, but dogs, you have to be in the country with dogs. I cannot walk a dog on the street.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
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Getting straight A's for having lots of tests is not the same as getting A's on the tests. Weighing a malnourished dog every day doesn't make him any better.
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Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.
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I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
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Tasmania needs a watchdog, not a lap dog.
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My wife and I ran through 'Justified' in, like, a day. And that is such a funny, amazing show.
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I am particularly interested in helping to heal women who have a fistula after their pregnancies.
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We have 26,000 genes. But a blind, millimetre-long roundworm with only 959 cells in total already has over 19,000.
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It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.
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I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.
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I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.
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The thing about owls is that they do sort of have this facial disc, which is unlike any other bird. They kind of have a face, more than like a dog or a giraffe. They have this weird, alien face that you can actually make expressive.
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It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair.
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There were a lot of R&B groups that were my heroes, but the funny thing about my career and the way it went and where it went, at first I didn't really want to do pop music. I was a little bit more into jazz and R&B.
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Apparently a great many people have forgotten that the framers of our Constitution went to such great effort to create an independent judicial branch that would not be subject to retaliation by either the executive branch or the legislative branch because of some decision made by those judges.
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You know how sometimes you meet writers that are so full of themselves? They feel really proud that they wrote something . But what they don't understand - and I like to tell this to writers - is that writing is like fishing. It's just like fishing. If you don't fish that often, you're not going to catch that many fish.
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Liberty is never out of bounds or off limits; it spreads wherever it can capture the imagination of men.
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Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles.
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
