Tommy Cooper Quotes

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

Tommy Cooper

• Funny
• Dog
• Helping
• Blind
• Assistants
• Blokes

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Quotes to Explore

• I love dogs, but dogs, you have to be in the country with dogs. I cannot walk a dog on the street.

  

  Karl Lagerfeld
  • Country
  • Love
  • Dog

• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • American
  • Funny
  • Nobody

• My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.

  

  Vanessa Bayer
  • Friends
  • Guy
  • Funny

• Getting straight A's for having lots of tests is not the same as getting A's on the tests. Weighing a malnourished dog every day doesn't make him any better.

  

  Dan Gelber
  • Day
  • Dog
  • Same

• Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.

  

  Ice Cube
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Dark

• I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

  

  Dane Cook
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Better

• Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.

  

  Immanuel Kant
  • Experience
  • Play
  • Blind

• I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.

  

  Maggie Smith
  • Happy
  • Funny
  • Find

• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

  

  P. G. Wodehouse
  • Funny
  • End
  • Gun

• Tasmania needs a watchdog, not a lap dog.

  

  Lara Giddings
  • Needs
  • Dog
  • Lap

• My wife and I ran through 'Justified' in, like, a day. And that is such a funny, amazing show.

  

  Adam Pally
  • Funny
  • Day
  • Amazing

• I am particularly interested in helping to heal women who have a fistula after their pregnancies.

  

  Dana Perino
  • Women
  • Helping
  • Pregnancies

• We have 26,000 genes. But a blind, millimetre-long roundworm with only 959 cells in total already has over 19,000.

  

  Iain McGilchrist
  • Long
  • Blind
  • Cells

• It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.

  

  Gaby Hoffmann
  • Up
  • Money
  • Funny

• I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.

  

  Harold Ramis
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Fall

• I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.

  

  Samantha Bee
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Information

• The thing about owls is that they do sort of have this facial disc, which is unlike any other bird. They kind of have a face, more than like a dog or a giraffe. They have this weird, alien face that you can actually make expressive.

  

  Zack Snyder
  • Weird
  • Dog
  • Bird

• I meet blind and partially-sighted young readers all the time, and it's a shock that so few books are available to them.

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Time
  • Young
  • Blind

• It's funny because ever since 'American Idol,' people look at me without makeup and think I'm 15 years old - they think I'm really young and quiet and shy, and that I've never been in a relationship and have never been in love or anything.

  

  Candice Glover
  • People
  • Love
  • American

• My hounds are bred out of the Spartan kind; So flew'd, so sanded; their heads are hung with ears that sweep away the morning dew.

  

  William Shakespeare
  • Kind
  • Morning
  • Dog

• What it is now is basically I'll sit on my computer; I basically kind of play the computer as an instrument, I guess you could say. I guess I play the Mac.

  

  Flume
  • Kind
  • Play
  • Now

• Internet mailing lists are like Fox television shows. They have really cool previews, and they get you all excited about them, but they just don't live up to their promises.

  

  John Dobbin
  • Up
  • Live
  • Cool

• When I was growing up, I always had the dream of being an analyst for a minor league baseball team or something like that.

  

  James Carville
  • Up
  • Dream
  • Growing

• A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

  

  Tommy Cooper
  • Funny
  • Dog
  • Helping