Zach Galifianakis Quotes
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.

Quotes to Explore
-
Art should be an oasis: a place or refuge from the hardness of life.
-
A person's life is of their own making, and I take full responsibility for mine.
-
In life, a lot of great ideas sound insane or absurd at first.
-
We need more children raised in the optimum situation, which is between a mom and a dad bonded together for life.
-
Whatever happens in life is fine - just trust in that.
-
I've been through plenty in my life where I've really had to focus on the day ahead... because, as I know, the future is, you know, whatever the future is... Once you've stared mortality that hard in the face, you really seize the day.
-
Liberalism is assisting quality of life, whatever you may choose.
-
I've been snowboarding my whole life. My wife's really good, and I just try to keep up with her.
-
If you're human, you've had phases in your life when things are in flux.
-
The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.
-
Helping people boost themselves out of poverty is the best way to make a lasting positive difference in a person's life.
-
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
-
Enhanced interrogation is not to be considered lightly, but the use of enhanced interrogation techniques does not require moral people to abandon their beliefs. Rather, it is precisely during these difficult times that one's beliefs about life, justice and mercy become indispensible.
-
If I don't fight McGregor, I still have a good life.
-
My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.
-
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-
I am not sad, but I am melancholic. When you lose your mother at 20 and then your father soon after, melancholia is part of your life.
-
We are seeing healing among the stolen generations, and initiatives which are enabling Indigenous people to make their distinctive contribution to our national life.
-
Man seeks to change the foods available in nature to suit his tastes, thereby putting an end to the very essence of life contained in them.
-
I'm a mom, so I have to be comfortable. Jeans are a staple - I have way too many in my closet! It's warm in Florida, so I wear jeans and a tank top every day. I love my True Religions, my Rich and Skinny, and Citizens of Humanity. But I also love getting dressed up!
-
Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
-
Humanity is part of nature, a species that evolved among other species. The more closely we identify ourselves with the rest of life, the more quickly we will be able to discover the sources of human sensibility and acquire the knowledge on which an enduring ethic, a sense of preferred direction, can be built.
-
I've always believed, in my heart of hearts, that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage.
-
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.