P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.
Quotes to Explore
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I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.
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You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks.
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I don't have the looks to compete at a bar, and I'm not that funny. So the last thing I want is to be in a situation where that's what I'm competing on. I'd rather be on OkCupid or Match, where I can write a 300-word essay about myself that's really good.
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It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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The jury has the right to determine both the law and the facts.
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Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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My CIA colleagues were smart, dedicated, funny, and creative. Yes, there was sometimes stifling bureaucracy, boredom, colleagues who never should have been there, and later, deeply disturbing stories of the CIA's involvement in torture. Still, I got to do work I thought was incredibly important and, many times, had fun doing it.
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This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.
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I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.'
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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I like children - fried.
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Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you, some opposing force, something uncomfortable.
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I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
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I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously.
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For years, I was either referred to as a 'rubber-faced funny man' or 'the 'Men Behaving Badly' star.'
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It's funny to me because everyone says I'm injury prone. That's hilarious to me because I've never blown a hammy or a shoulder or anything like that, knock on wood.
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I was doing a college show for the first time, and there was this 20-year-old gay male who's been diabetic his entire life. He said, 'I really wanna get into stand-up.' I was like, 'Oh, my God, do you realize how interesting and inherently funny you are? Go do all the comedy that you wanna do.' I care about that.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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When you discover first love as a teenager, your whole life revolves around it and you open yourself up to it.
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If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.
