Asshole Quotes
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while lighting a fire on the beach Fuck! Go to Alaska! No, no, no, no. You fucking asshole ocean! No!
Ozzy Osbourne
Black Sabbath
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring back our fuckin' FLAG, asshole! Show us some moon rocks, or kiss this.
Sam Kinison
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If you don't know what a cat is, it's sort of like a stuffed animal... but with a working asshole. I'll admit that when I went to the pound, I was actually shopping for a never ending box of shit, um, and the cat just came with it. 20
Ze Frank
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The whole purpose of climbing something like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual and physical gain. But if you compromise the process you’re an asshole when you start out and an asshole when you get back.
Yvon Chouinard
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We play loud electric guitar music, and we'd hope that that doesn't mean you have to act like an asshole.
Ian MacKaye
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I’m sorry, Eve. I love you. I’m not letting you do this.” She screamed and battered harder. “You love me? You asshole! Let me go!
Rachel Caine
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I finally learned from Fred Durst, who is of my generation, that 'selling out' means every ticket at The Forum got sold. I don't think Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera sit there agonizing over their record sales. The term 'sell out' needs to be eradicated from the language, because if you don't 'sell out,' guess what? An asshole will.
Courtney Love
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Your father's an asshole. It's not a disease. You don't have to catch it.
Rachel Caine
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Dark Helmet after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is 'Asshole.': I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.
Mel Brooks
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I can't stand that asshole Ryan Seacrest and here's why. He can't sing. He can't dance. He has no talent. When is he gonna go away?
Kathy Griffin
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All of a sudden, I'm thinking, these guys Afghani men aren't so bad. I'm like the type of asshole where if you're nice to me once, I'm your friend for life. Sure, you hacked your kid's clit off, but you were nice!
Kathy Griffin
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I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck him and his balls, and his bicycles, and his steroids, and his yellow shirts, and the dumb empty expression on his face. I'm tired of that asshole.
George Carlin
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But he is pretty. God, I hope he's not an asshole. Do you think there's any chance he's both non-orifice and single? I mean, seriously. What are the chances?
Laini Taylor
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Gansey asked, 'Do you have time to run an errand with us? Do you have work? Homework?''No homework. I got suspended,' Blue replied.'Get the fuck out,' Ronan said, but with admiration. 'Sargent, you asshole.'Blue reluctantly allowed him to bump fists with her.
Maggie Stiefvater
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All publicity isn't good publicity. As a New York publicist put it: 'What: the guy's an asshole so I'll go and buy his novel?'
Martin Amis
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I used to say things like, 'My name's not Al (Bundy), you know?' Not to the press, but to fans. 'My name is actually Ed.' I'd find myself saying that, and I'd think, 'Who do you think they think you are? They only know you from that!' And finally I just got...I don't know, I guess a switch went on for me, and I realized, 'This was the greatest job that you've ever had in your life. Why are you acting like an asshole?' So from that minute on, I kind of...well, I hate the word 'embraced,' but I just kind of went, 'Yeah, okay.' 'So you're Al, right?' 'Yep!'
Ed O'Neill
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A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I've chosen not to be.
Bette Midler
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They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, 'Well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3.' … WELL, THEN IT'S MINUS 3, ASSHOLE! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect!
Lewis Black
