Asshole Quotes
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I’m sorry, Eve. I love you. I’m not letting you do this.” She screamed and battered harder. “You love me? You asshole! Let me go!
Rachel Caine
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All of a sudden, I'm thinking, these guys Afghani men aren't so bad. I'm like the type of asshole where if you're nice to me once, I'm your friend for life. Sure, you hacked your kid's clit off, but you were nice!
Kathy Griffin
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I finally learned from Fred Durst, who is of my generation, that 'selling out' means every ticket at The Forum got sold. I don't think Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera sit there agonizing over their record sales. The term 'sell out' needs to be eradicated from the language, because if you don't 'sell out,' guess what? An asshole will.
Courtney Love
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Dark Helmet after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is 'Asshole.': I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.
Mel Brooks
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But he is pretty. God, I hope he's not an asshole. Do you think there's any chance he's both non-orifice and single? I mean, seriously. What are the chances?
Laini Taylor
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I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck him and his balls, and his bicycles, and his steroids, and his yellow shirts, and the dumb empty expression on his face. I'm tired of that asshole.
George Carlin
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I used to say things like, 'My name's not Al (Bundy), you know?' Not to the press, but to fans. 'My name is actually Ed.' I'd find myself saying that, and I'd think, 'Who do you think they think you are? They only know you from that!' And finally I just got...I don't know, I guess a switch went on for me, and I realized, 'This was the greatest job that you've ever had in your life. Why are you acting like an asshole?' So from that minute on, I kind of...well, I hate the word 'embraced,' but I just kind of went, 'Yeah, okay.' 'So you're Al, right?' 'Yep!'
Ed O'Neill
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I think it can be tremendously refreshing if a creator of literature has something on his mind other than the history of literature so far. Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak.
Kurt Vonnegut
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I was skiing in Deer Valley and there's no people of color up there, and I'm up there, skiing, trying to fit in like an asshole, and I have an instructor and he goes, 'Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but you have a tendency to bow into your skis.' Fuck you! And then I fell.
Margaret Cho
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(On airplane etiquette) Although reclining your seat is technically your right, just like free speech if you exercise it to your limits everyone around you will think you're an asshole. 18
Ze Frank
