Funny Quotes
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The effect of sailing is produced by a judicious arrangement of the sails to the direction of the wind.
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The funny thing is while the grown-ups in the family may indulge, we really try to offer our son Duke clean food, as all his meals are made with organic ingredients as the rest of us eat cookies straight out of the freezer.
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I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I'm funny, and I'm a good person.
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The young Dickens was so alive, so self-confident, so funny.
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I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny.
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The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
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Most people in Uganda have something good to say about Amin - 'He was funny; he gave us pride to be African.'
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It's funny. When I saw the script in my inbox and it said 'Sparkle,' I thought, 'For real? It's really called 'Sparkle?' I was wondering, too, how does 'Jordin Sparks as Sparkle' sound?
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Life has a funny way of becoming ordinary as soon as it can.
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So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised.
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I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have to figure out, What is the joke that I can do that nobody else can do?
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Don't call 'em dogs. Dogs are loyal and they run after balls.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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I'm dying for people to let me be funny!
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A great way to learn about your country is to leave it.
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I would rather be called funny than pretty.
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Because of an off-hand funny comment I made backstage at a concert years ago, a story circulated that the song has been a burden and even that I didnt sing it for a while. Thats completely false. I am very proud of American Pie and the many satellites that grow from it and revolve around it. For many years I carried my songs around and now they carry me around. I have always sung American Pie for my audience and would never think of disappointing them since it is they who have given me a wonderful life and untold affection for almost 30 years.
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I saw 'Annie Hall' with a group of people working in comedy and television. We were all stunned. Stunned. It was like watching a spaceship land. That something that funny could also be that beautiful.
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The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn't just common to me; it's anybody who's funny.
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I mean, I - it's so funny, I am, you know, I am, you know, a working woman out in the world, but I still live with my parents half the time. I've been sort of taking this very long, stuttering period of moving out.
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There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny.
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Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.
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There is one school of thought that says Mayors should cut ribbons, be funny and be a buffoon. The other school of thought is that we can do more. Scotland is getting more powers. Wales is getting more powers. Greater Manchester. London needs more powers.
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The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.
