Funny Quotes
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There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base.
Jerry Coleman
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There's a funny thing that, in film now, everybody thinks that the director does everything, and in TV, everybody thinks that the writer does everything, and I'm quite comfortable with that as a director. I don't mind that.
Colm McCarthy
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I have a theory, that there is a terrific link between what is funny and what is scary. I think there is a very close connection between what frightens people and what makes them laugh. Laughter is a kind of nervousness. Animals don't laugh. Smiling is, anthropologists agree, directly linked to the baring of the teeth.
Christopher Walken
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper
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[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.
Virginia Woolf
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This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'
Jane Pauley
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I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.
Jerry Coleman
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If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.
Kurt Vonnegut
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On the surface, Wonder Boys seemed like such a departure from L.A. Confidential - it's funny, it's contemporary, and so on - and yet at a certain point, I had a feeling that reminded me how I felt when I was shooting L.A. Confidential. I analyzed it for a while, and thought about how emotionally involved I was with the characters. Then I realized that in both movies, there are three main male characters and one female, and all of them are struggling to figure out what they're doing with their lives, independent of each other.
Curtis Hanson
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That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.
Jennifer Aniston
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I think that 'Saving Grace' is pretty funny. I think that the show and the woman have a pretty great sense of humor.
Holly Hunter
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I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
John Barrymore
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It's funny, because I did all of these interviews as soon as I had the baby, and they were asking questions, and I really didn't have an idea of anything, because I was so blurry.
Emily Procter
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I never saw myself as a comedian. I saw myself as a guy who can act funny.
Charlie Day
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You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."
Jim Gaffigan
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
William S. Burroughs
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I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.
Denis Leary
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I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
Bill Engvall
