Funny Quotes
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After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!
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Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.
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You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
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Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.
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How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, "How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water."
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When I say something funny, I don't laugh.
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I've heard players, and I'm talking about some of the best players in the league, question whether I've taken steroids or not. Some of the things I hear are pretty funny, and some people are idiots, frankly.
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To me, the movie is more funny if, at the same time, you can think a little bit or dream a little bit.
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I had sinus surgery the day after Christmas and it has been the worst surgery of my life. Very painful. And on top of it everyone of course thought I got a nose job. Which is so funny because if you know me I would have told you I got a nose job I'm not gonna keep it a secret.
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I got to work with Eli Vargas. Great guy. Huge in Spain. He's a heartthrob there. Who else? Terry Crews - he was really funny.
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No one wants to say, 'That's not funny,' when you're working.
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I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.
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It's funny how God will just keep using you, and our motto around our family forever has been, 'Just let Him use you.'
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Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
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I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.
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I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people.
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Banjos are funny instruments. They can get pretty irritating.
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The funny thing is, though I write mysteries, it is the one genre in adult fiction I never read. I read Nancy Drew, of course, when I was a kid, but I think the real appeal is as a writer because I'm drawn to puzzly, complicated plots.
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The book that made me decide to go into Russian literature was 'Anna Karenina,' which I first read in high school. The thing that appealed to me and constituted its Russianness for me was that it was simultaneously incredibly funny and sad.
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Bill Murray is a wonderful actor, and he's very funny, and I've seen him be serious and terrific.
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We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.
