Funny Quotes
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This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'
Jane Pauley
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My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not.
Anna Held
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Hollywood's just not funny.
Chris Rock
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I had gone to New York with no plan at all. I did a lot of jobs - barman, teacher, security guard, postman and construction worker - and I was meeting many eccentric characters, and they were saying funny things, which I always wrote down.
Adrian McKinty
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
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I watch 'The Bachelor'. It's one of those things where I always think if it didn't exist and it was on 'SNL,' we would think it would be a ridiculous, funny idea. But it actually exists... It's a glorious train wreck that I love to watch.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler
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With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!
Jerry Coleman
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'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
Tommy Cooper
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Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"
Jim Gaffigan
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My paintings capture the humor, zaniness, and depth of the Batman villains as well as the Freudian motivations of Batman as an all-too-human, venerable, and funny vigilante superhero.
Adam West
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Rapping can be repetition sometimes. Sometimes you gotta highlight your words in a certain kind of way. So I always was a fan of sing-rapping. It was always funny to me a little bit, and I think that being funny and being able to laugh, even at yourself, is a form of flattery.
ASAP Ferg
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Being funny is everything to me.
Allison Jones
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It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.
Bill Engvall
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Do I like being thought of as attractive? I don't know anyone on Earth who doesn't, but I do find it funny.
Benedict Cumberbatch
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People are funny in the way that they choose to express themselves.
Frank Vincent
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I find that I'm extremely unattracted to anything that's humorless. There is writing that is entirely serious, and it doesn't ring true to me, because I think, oftentimes, life is very, very funny. Even the worst, most humiliating, savage disappointments in retrospect have elements of bleak humor.
Owen King
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I drink to make other people more interesting.
Ernest Hemingway
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It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale!
Kelly Osbourne
