Funny Quotes
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It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life.
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Humour is the describing the ludicrous as it is in itself; wit is the exposing it, by comparing or contrasting it with something else. Humour is, as it were, the growth of nature and accident; wit is the product of art and fancy.
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The biggest problem of all is that it's very difficult to tell my daughter, 'Swearing is not clever or funny,' because I earn a living by swearing.
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It feels a little bit funny coming here and telling you guys that Linux and open source are the future of gaming. It's sort of like going to Rome and teaching Catholicism to the pope.
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Existence is a series of footnotes to a vast, obscure, unfinished masterpiece.
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I drink to make other people more interesting.
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My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.
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I find it endlessly interesting, endlessly funny, the fact that we're rather arbitrarily divided up into these discrete humans and that your physical self, your physical attributes, your moment of history and the place where you were born determine who you are as much as all that indefinable stuff that's inside of you.
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It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you're like, "I stayed up to do what?! Watch Growing Pains? What was I thinking!?" But at night you're like, "La La La La La, Hey! Growing Pains, awesome! And I've seen this episode. That Kirk Cameron's always in trouble."
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Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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It's funny, I'd rather be known as a writer who crafted a really nice piece about women's friendships over time. But that doesn't roll off the tongue like 'YouTube sensation.'
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God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones.
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It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer.
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In the old-fashioned sitcoms, to be gay was, in itself, funny, and you laughed at the characters rather than with them.
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I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that's what's funny.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.
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I meditate and I also think about meditation. Which is funny. I think about Maharishi, about just the idea of meditating. It gives me something.
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I would really like to do a really cool one-hour show, maybe on, like, HBO or something like that; or something that I've spent a couple of years developing so it would be exactly the character and exactly in with a huge push behind it; or I would maybe want to do a sitcom; something light and funny.
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If you think about it, there aren't that many women who are in their 40s, who are Jewish and funny and stage-worthy.
