Funny Quotes
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What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?
Sam Kinison
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I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can't do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny.
Kurt Braunohler
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It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.
Bryan Cranston
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Over seven thousand US veterans die of suicide every year, which is funny... false laughter... because you'd think they'd die over there, but they come home! Right? I thought that must be funny, because nobody was taking it that seriously.
Maria Bamford
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If you're funny as a woman, people think it might be because someone else helped you.
Alice Lowe
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I did accents and funny voices for the family when I was growing up.
Lake Bell
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Normally, it's one or the other - a pretty, straight woman or a more charactery woman who isn't supposed to be attractive. But women like Tina Fey are leading the charge on being both. You can be funny and attractive.
Becki Newton
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I would ask my mother to show me how to walk - and she did show me. That's why I think it's funny when people say, 'Did so-and-so teach you how to walk?' And I always say, 'You must be talking about my mother, because it was my mother who taught me how to walk.'
Naomi Campbell
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You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly.
James Veitch
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A lot of movies that come from Israel are about war, but there is such good, funny, rounded writing that comes from the country that I wish more people would discover.
Odeya Rush
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I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much.
Dav Pilkey
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The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.
Arthur Smith
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I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing?
Lenny Kravitz
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The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.
Denis Leary
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I never really had them. I always get the eccentric kids who dress funny and sit and write poetry for three months in their bedrooms......I was going to see tons of shows when I was a teenager, so if I was a girl, would that have made me a groupie? If I wanted to shake Thurston Moore's hand or something?
Beck
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Never put a sock in a toaster.
Eddie Izzard
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It's funny: I kinda still float under the radar. I'm not tall like a New York Knick; I'm not a heavy, strong New York Giant or New York Jet. I blend in pretty well. A lot of people don't recognize me too many places. More men recognize me than women.
Curtis Granderson
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I do think that the audience thinks it's funny when you break, but if you do it all the time, it loses something.
Vanessa Bayer
