Funny Quotes
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When I was a kid my family was really poor and I remember one Halloween I wanted to dress up really scary and my parents came home with a duck costume. I wore that costume for years! I hated it.
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Over seven thousand US veterans die of suicide every year, which is funny... false laughter... because you'd think they'd die over there, but they come home! Right? I thought that must be funny, because nobody was taking it that seriously.
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I watch the news, which is its own reality show. I love 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I love it because it's funny and because I realize that I'm happier than Larry David.
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Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
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It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it.
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I get asked, 'Who would you really like to work with?' I'm already working with them. Smart, talented, funny people, good musicians, an extended family, good friends.
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I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view.
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It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny.
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I don't have the looks to compete at a bar, and I'm not that funny. So the last thing I want is to be in a situation where that's what I'm competing on. I'd rather be on OkCupid or Match, where I can write a 300-word essay about myself that's really good.
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If you have an impulse, not if you're going to ruin someone elses' scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it.
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It's a funny thing about rap, that when you say 'I' into the microphone, it's like a public confession. It's very strange.
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It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent.
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If you're going to take a jab at someone, you should at least have a bit more of a personal relationship with them. I feel like you can be funny and clever, as opposed to just outright vile.
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My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.
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'Friends' played in this territory of being funny, and then also just grabbing your heart. And not afraid of that. It was a comedic soap opera. Not being afraid to have an audience feel something, laugh and cry, was quite extraordinary and quite wonderful.
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I love Jared Hess' movies. He's such a weirdo and such a nice, funny guy.
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In school I was always the funny-looking, tall, skinny kid that got made fun of because of my weird teeth.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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I feel like my comedy voice is to take the news and everything that's happening and put a funny spin on it or to pick out the things I find funny about it.
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You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks.
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I was, like, this token teen angst child of Broadway. It's so funny. What is that? I don't even know. But I loved it.
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I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this - the script is like this sad, funny, desperate love song to the lost American man.
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Funny enough, there have been puppets in everything I've written because I have a huge love of puppets. There's a big puppet musical at the end of 'Sarah Marshall.' I wrote 'The Muppets.'
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Normally, it's one or the other - a pretty, straight woman or a more charactery woman who isn't supposed to be attractive. But women like Tina Fey are leading the charge on being both. You can be funny and attractive.
