Funny Quotes
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I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
Kaley Cuoco
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What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes.
Samuel Beckett
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It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.
Bryan Cranston
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First and foremost when you're doing comedy, you gotta be relevant and applicable to the times that you're living in. When you try and just do comedy about who is dating who and lifestyle jokes, it gets tiring after a while. It's hard to be funny in that realm.
Adam McKay
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It's funny. Some people remember that a lot more than I do. I remember certain parts of it, and if everybody who mentioned that to me had been to the game who said they were at the game, there'd be 800,000 people at that game, I think.
Carlton Fisk
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The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.
Denis Leary
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Over seven thousand US veterans die of suicide every year, which is funny... false laughter... because you'd think they'd die over there, but they come home! Right? I thought that must be funny, because nobody was taking it that seriously.
Maria Bamford
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Yes, some women are funny. No, some women aren't funny. It's similar to how some women are tall and, you know, some women are short.
Ellie Kemper
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I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.
J. Cole
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We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
Calvin Trillin
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It's funny: I kinda still float under the radar. I'm not tall like a New York Knick; I'm not a heavy, strong New York Giant or New York Jet. I blend in pretty well. A lot of people don't recognize me too many places. More men recognize me than women.
Curtis Granderson
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I wanna be funny, but if I have a chance to make a point while being funny - why not?
Chris Cubas
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If you're funny as a woman, people think it might be because someone else helped you.
Alice Lowe
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I've got a bunch of books... I rely on funny books and movies to cheer me up. Oh, but I must say, I do have the world's most perfect husband, so a cuddle from him always cheers me up. He's a good guy.
Wendi McLendon-Covey
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I never really had them. I always get the eccentric kids who dress funny and sit and write poetry for three months in their bedrooms......I was going to see tons of shows when I was a teenager, so if I was a girl, would that have made me a groupie? If I wanted to shake Thurston Moore's hand or something?
Beck
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Relaxing at home in his 55th-floor condominium before a game, Sammy Sosa is the same as at the ball park: focused but funny, exuberant but reserved. He is in a strange country, conversing in two languages, but his every movement displays a combination of confidence and humility.
Bill Dedman
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It's funny because when I'm outside Australia, I never get to do my Australian accent in anything. It's always a Danish accent or an English accent or an American accent.
Mallory Jansen
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I wake up every day and look at my own ugly mug in the mirror and don't think twice about it. The fact that other people might want to look at me still feels funny. It's flattering, but funny.
Luke Bracey
