Funny Quotes
-
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
Edith Sitwell
-
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H. G. Wells
-
Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it.
Upamanyu Chatterjee
-
It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way.
Kate Winslet
-
I remember listening to the radio as a kid and finding that the songs always made me feel more peaceful. Funny, but the more hurtin' the music was, the better it made me feel. I think of that now when I write my songs. I may not be feelin' the blues myself, but I'm writing them for other people who have a hard life.
Chris Isaak
-
My boy and I move. We have this game where if we dress in a particular item of clothing, we have to do a different movement. A hat means 20 jumps - that sort of thing. When I put a scarf on, my son has to drop down and do push-ups, immediately. He thinks it's really funny.
Magnus Scheving
-
Being mean just for being mean's sake isn't funny.
Kaitlin Olson
-
I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too.
Randall Munroe
-
If you're contriving something, if you're making something up, it's not funny. You can tell. It's instant. It has to come from someplace real.
Jane Lynch
-
It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I've always loved 'Umbrella.' Funny enough, my ex-husband wrote that, and I'm not saying it was meant for me or anything - people will start twisting this - it is Rihanna's song! But I've always loved it.
Christine Flores
-
I really don't have a type. I never had a type. If I could put them all together, it's, like, the most different grouping. So I love when guys are funny. I love guys that are funny and goofy and over the top. And you know, I really like personality.
Kaley Cuoco
