Funny Quotes
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In school I was always the funny-looking, tall, skinny kid that got made fun of because of my weird teeth.
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As a child, one of my defense mechanisms was to try to be funny. My mom tried to nurture that by putting me in acting class. But I got bored when we stopped pretending to be trees and actually had to work.
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Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.
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I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too.
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When I was, like, 16, I went in to the head of Disney, and I hadn't taken acting class really at all, and I didn't know what I was doing, and it was really embarrassing. Of course, you think Disney wants over-the-top and funny, and I was just trying to be over-the-top and funny, and it just wasn't working, and that was the worst.
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My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him.
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I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
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This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.
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I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'
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What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.
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Even the best comedians aren't always sure what is going to be funny, what is going to work. So that means they're constantly and trying and failing in order to get there.
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Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
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I've never seen Kendrick Lamar crack a joke, and I've met him, but I'm sure he's hilarious, too, just because he's so good at rapping. J. Cole is a funny guy as well. Drake is funny. But who's the funniest guy I've met who is a rapper? I would say 50 Cent.
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I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.'
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I look out at the stadiums full of people and see them all knowing the words to songs I wrote. And curling their hair! I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. And wonderful.
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I love Jared Hess' movies. He's such a weirdo and such a nice, funny guy.
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It's kind of funny, with all of the different outlets that come from acting that you could try, I would love to direct and kind of be involved in art direction, too.
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You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.
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It's funny, but as time goes by, I get stopped in airports all the time, and it's always about 'Shannon's Deal.'
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What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em; they're awesome. They're good people.
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Some things are so tragic that you don't know what's funny in it, and some things are so ridiculous you don't know if it's worth talking about it.
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It's funny, I used to say on 'That 70's Show', you could really put us in any decade, and it was about the people and the characters and that we cared about each other.
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Girls are supposed to be feminine and demure. Comedy isn't about that, so you just have to unlearn it. Certain women are so pretty, they can't go weird enough to be funny. You have to be willing to be ugly. I'm lucky my face can look so hideous.
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When I named it 'Girl Problems,' I knew I would be inviting some interesting questions and some funny questions, but that was the cool part about it - I wanted that.
