Funny Quotes
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I feel like people are funny, and women are people, so I'm sick of the distinction.
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I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house. There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny.
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Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.” “Maybe you should say that to Michael.” “Not funny, Eve,” Michael said. Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. “Little bit,” she said.
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I don't happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don't know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally.
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I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
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The funny thing as an actor is that you show up on the set, and your key goal really is to make the scenes that you're involved in honest and real. You're not concerned with the technical aspect of things, and then you sit in the movie theater, and you watch it with everyone else, you realize that, 'Man, this is pretty exciting.'
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I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.
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It's funny how life works. You end up sometimes back where you started.
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Being in a male-dominated industry, you can feel like a little excluded. That was making me feel like maybe I'm not funny. I was really seriously considering, like, quitting standup.
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There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done. School and prison.
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I have a Dominique Wilkins Hawks jersey that I still wear. That's probably my favorite one. What's funny is that I spend all this time collecting jerseys, and now people are out there collecting mine.
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We could talk, act, and dress funny. We were excused for socially inappropriate behavior: 'Oh, he's a programmer'. It was all because we knew this technology stuff that other people found completely mystifying.
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My job is summer camp. I come and talk and try to make a TV show funny.
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You have to go as hard as you possibly can, or it's going to be weak. Whenever I find myself not committing fully to a character, it's not as funny. It doesn't have that clear point of view, and you find yourself wandering all over the place, whereas committed characters make strong choices that are clear to the audience.
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When I started in the late nineties, it was all about young Hollywood. There were jobs for all of us if you were 18 to 21, were slightly good looking, or could be funny.
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I'm here as a radio journalist but am not even sure which part of a tape recorder takes the pictures.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.
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I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
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Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
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One of my best friends growing up was Vietnamese, and he and his mom would teach me how to say certain things so I could impress my nail girls. Then the nail girls would teach me how to count to 100 and basic things like 'Thank you' and 'You're welcome.' It's funny, because any accent that I do now always turns into Vietnamese.
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It's funny, one of my most solid carpet moments happened in the very beginning, before I started thinking that I needed all these other people to do my hair and makeup, and pick out my clothes. I wore a cheetah sweater and a red hat, and it's one of my favorite looks, even still.
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I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be sad.
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I think it's really important for celebrities to use their power of money and fame to get their voices out there. It's funny to me that we're expected to keep quiet just because of who we are. Why do I lose my right to speak my mind because I'm famous?
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I was born to be funny.
