Funny Quotes
-
There have been a good many funny things said and written about hardupishness, but the reality is not funny, for all that. It is not funny to have to haggle over pennies. It isn't funny to be thought mean and stingy. It isn't funny to be shabby and to be ashamed of your address. No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty - to the poor.
Jerome K. Jerome
-
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck
-
I like situational comedy when people are being completely serious and yet you can find something extremely funny, not jokes.
Bruce Robinson
-
Some guys said 'Here's bop!' Wham! They said, 'Here's something we can make money on!' Wham! 'Here's a comedian!' Wham! Here's a guy who talks funny talk!'
Charlie Parker
-
There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: 'Here's what I've been working on,' and then produced some cakes from your oven. True? 'No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?'
Kate Bush
-
It's funny how the ruthless, murderous gangster has really been romanticized by the media. I mean, I grew up watching the 'Godfathers' and 'Scarface,' and they were the coolest. They're just really interesting stories with great characters. They're rock stars.
Elena Satine
-
Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.
Erma Bombeck
-
I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always.
Jenna Elfman
-
I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life.
Karan Patel
-
I love taking something that is understood to be funny or charming or sweet or naive and instilling it with some degree of gravity.
David Lowery
Camper Van Beethoven
-
Hey,” Shane said from the other side of the bars. “Trade you cigarettes for a chocolate bar.” Funny,” Eve said. She was almost back to her old unGothed self again, though there were still red splotches on her cheeks and around her eyes. “How come you’re always behind bars, troublemaker?” Look who’s talking. I didn’t try to outrun the cops in a hearse.” That hearse had horsepower.” Eve got that moony look in her eyes again. “I love that hearse.
Rachel Caine
-
I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.
Sarah Silverman
-
Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.
Flip Wilson
-
It's funny how sometimes you learn things off the Internet before they're actually told to you.
Joel Edgerton
-
Like many people, I kicked around, struggled to become a writer, finally got my first full-time job around 27, 28, at 'The Hill' newspaper. They hired me as a copy editor, which was kind of funny because I'm semi-blind because I have an eye disorder.
David Grann
-
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.
J. B. Smoove
-
I want really badly to just be funny in a movie but be close to myself.
Kurt Vile
-
Crashing is never funny, but sometimes you can jump up, laugh at your stupidity, and go, 'What the hell was that?'
Jens Voigt
-
There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
Kevin James
-
Unfortunately, sometimes the fans forget who puts the money and passion into the club. It's funny, but when you win, it's the coach and the players who are responsible, but when you lose, it's the owner's fault; but that's football.
Andrea Della Valle
-
As a young girl, if you do something funny - especially if you're Jewish - someone says, 'Oh, have you seen Gilda Radner?'
Rachel Bloom
-
It's funny, because when you're younger you're in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows?
Mark Wahlberg
